Kavanagh_Nathalie.txt topic ['13', '324', '378', '393']
deep happiness.
what, then, did she dream ?
the quiet domestic joys of woman's household life ; of
her husband away, as he was this evening, and returning, as
she expected he would return, on the morrow ; of kind words
and gentle caresses, of winter evenings by the fireside, of long
summer mornings in the garden, and of a whole existence
flowing on thus through years with the same calm and even
tide. change, the adventure, the romance she had once
longed for no longer troubled her ; the fever of her soul had
won its long sought rest.
was some time before she left the window and returned
to the hearth. was in a deep sleep ; the fire
shone with a warm and vivid glow. sat down on a
low stool ; she smiled even to herself as she remembered the
winter evenings thus spent, with a book on her lap that still
remained unread ; and then came back the memory of doubt,
sorrow, and separation, of griefs poured forth on a sister's
bosom, of the voice which had ever cheered her with pure and
holy counsels, of the calm death-bed, and of the lonely grave
in the narrow church yard of . absorbed was she
in those recollections that she never heard the sound of a
horse's hoofs in the avenue, nor, after a while, the drawing-
room door opening. was de who entered
paused for a moment on the threshold and looked at his
wife. fire-light fell on her features, youthful in spite of
their present seriousness, and on her slender figure ; her present
attitude displaying more than usual its light girlish grace.
looked very pretty thus, and yet a strange pang shot
across the bosom of de as he gazed on her.
was still in the prime and vigor of life, but she was in all
early freshness of her years. was not that he wished to
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idd one day more to that existence as yet so bi'icf, nor would
he have seen without regret a severer line on that youthful
brow; she c-harraed him thus, and. as he felt, charmed him only
too well ; but in spite of himself, the lingering doubt would
intrude that a day might come when would repent
her present choice, and wish she had chosen herself some
younger mate.
closed the door ; looked up, quickly rose to
nseet him, and there was something in the flush of glad sur-
prise which lit up her face, in the irrepressible joy betrayed by
every one of her expressive and animated features, that would
have soothed a more irritable spirit, and charmed more pain-
ful doubts away. youth, when the heart is naturally more
generous, because it is more wealthy, the affection given is
often the source of greater, and certainly purer happiness,
than the love received ; but as years steal on, as the heart, like
a prodigal spendthrift, grows poor, selfish, and wearied, no-
thing can exceed the eager delight with which it receives the
slightest tokens of a pure and sincere affection. is a
weakness against which judgment avails little, and bygone ex-
perience still less. had become more skeptical of human
affections than de ; few had been more jus-
tified in their skepticism, and yet none, perhaps, ever yielded
with more facility than he did to the pleasure of watching
every emotion of the love he had at first unconsciously inspired,
and then sedulously fostered in the heart of the young girl now
his wife.
he took a seat quietly, in order not to awaken his aunt,
and placed herself on the low stool at his feet, she
did not say his unexpected return pleased her, but her flushed
cheeks and sparkling eyes, the volubility of her piquant speech,
the very restlessness of her movements, betrayed her joy ; un-
expressed, indeed, but to him how legible in the radiant fiico
now raised towards his ! it was not merely the gladness
his return inspired that pleased him, but still more the facility
with whicli this nature yielded to pleasurable emo-
tions, ever displaying that singular aptitude for happiness, if
we may for once borrow a idiom, which had struck and
charmed him from the first.
those who have lived much, whether prematurely or in
the natural course of years, there is a deep attraction in the
vivacity and buoyancy of 3'ounger minds and hearts. placid,
serene woman, far more perfect than , would have
516 .
failed iu awakening the same feeling in de ,
who was himself calm enough not to need that soothing but
somewhat chill influence. was to him as is to a tra-
veller the summer breeze, keen, fresh, and vivifying, but
never cold, which tempers the fervid heat of noonday, and ban-
ishes the evening weariness of limbs and spirit.
had ceased speaking, perhaps because she feared to
awaken the sleeping ; perhaps because other thoughts
had come to her. de bent down and look-
ed into her face; the fire-light shone brightly on it; it was
somewhat serious, yet no sad thoughts seemed tc trouble her
as she sat there on -the hearth, her look on the glowing embers,
her hands clasped around her knees.
" are you thinking of?" asked her husband, placing
his hand lightly on her shoulder.
looked up slowly, and as slowly smiled.
" was thinking," she replied, ' that it is two years
since entered this house this room and sat down where
am sitting now ; strange that it should have tken two entire
years to make me so happy."
" are happy, then ?"
" happy."
" you have no doubt no fear
" why should ?"
looked at her almost sadly, but her smile remained
bright, trusting, and undismayed.
" are the same as ever," said he, " too hopeful. ,
confess that you look upon life, married life in particular, as a
sort of perpetual sunshine."
" think no such thing," was the dry and decisive reply ;
" think, on the contrary, that it is extremely stormy."
" !"
" , indeed ; but have resolved one thing."
" pray what is that thing ?"
" you shall have all the storms to yourself need
not smile ironically : calm as you are, you know that have
found the way of putting you out of temper."
" , ; but you were first very much out of temper
yourself; if, therefore, the storms you predict take place, you
will be -"
" all patience, meek submission, and dutiful
obedience."
. skeptical smile betrayed the doubt with which
.- 5 1 7
flc was disposed to treat this assertion ; but
persisted.
' it n'ill be as say ; and that because know it
will vex you thoroughly."
" sounds frank ; but pray how do you know it will
vex me
" you like resistance, provided you can conquer it
in the end ; because you would wish me to storm, fret, and
quarrel, whilst you remained cool as an icicle, and consequent-
ly alwa3's master. as am resolved not to give you this
gratification, have taken a dose of patience sufficient to last
me through life."
" , since you confess to the amiable motive of wishing
to vex me, begin to believe this may be true."
" you will give me credit for no other motive," asked
, a little seriously. " do not think could be
patient from reason and principle if you happened to be stern
and exacting ; you do not think could separate love from
temper, and whilst trusted in one, find it easy to endure the
other
" you do that, ?"
" , , would ; for indeed you may believe me,
mine is no weak and passing affection. know that you are
human, and that you have humanity's weaknesses ; but know
also that you are upright and true ; and if love you much,
revere you not less. need not look at me so wistfully :
cannot, will not doubt. said it already, this is no passing
affection : it will not end with a few years ; it will not be eon-
quered by sorrow or death ; it is as much a part of my being
as is the immortal spirit within me, and like it, will it survive
the storms and trials of existence, and pass beneath the dark
portal of death to rejoice in the life and light of a purer day."
" ceased tears had gathered in her dark eyes, and her
smiling and parted lips quivered slightly. made her no
reply, but bending over her he laid his hand caressingly on
the glos.sy and wavy tresses, and drew nearer to him that bowed
and submissive head.
will leave them thus. is plunged in her
deepest and most reflective mood ; a mood which, alas ! grows
deeper and longer every evening ; the wood-fire is burning
brightly on the hearth ; it lights the room with a warm genial
glow ; twilight has deepened into dusk ; the red curtain is still
undrawn ; through the clear window-panes are seen the dark
518 .
trees of the avenue ; they rise against a gky of night's decpcEt
azure: over all shines the moon large, full, and radiant her
soft, clear light glides in through the casement, and falls upon
the floor ; it contrasts, but does not blend, with the red fire-
light.
no other light seems to be needed for the sleep of age,
or the dreams of love and youth. , alas ! there is only one
there who is dreaming now : de is indeed
looking at his wife with true and serious tenderness ; he loves
her and has faith in her love ; but he has not lived in vain ; he
knows the fallacy of hope, the weakness of humanity; the
perishable nature of its deepest feelings ; the freshness of -
thalie's hopes, the fervor of her faith cannot exist for him; and
yet he is happy, for he can say '' sufficient to each day is the
evil thereof," and whilst the glad present shines over him, he
will not sadden it with thoughts of the morrow's gloom.
she who now sits at his feet with brow so serene,
smile so hopeful, and look that seems to welcome such glorious
visions, has she those doubts, those fears 1 has not.
" eyes so fair"
never wore a brighter aspect, when the poor poet, who died of
grief, first beheld hei*. hope is with her now; her glance
undimmed by weeping, her beacon-light unquenched by the
heavy night shadows. is young ; barely has she seen
twenty years ; she has suflFered, but she forgets her past sorrow,
to gaze on the future ; it is beautiful and bright ; she sees it as
clearly as the light reflected in the mirror before her. has
heard that happiness is transient, that love is as delusive as the
dream of a night ; but the voice in her heart tells her another
tale. others have found sorrow, she shall have deep joy,
for believes ; her look, her attitude, are the very sub-
lime of faith ; there is not the shadow of a doubt on that clear
brow, not the most remote mistrust in that upturned gaze.
is happy, and happy indeed does she look, sitting there at
his feet, secure in the might and faith of her undying love.
may those bright hopes and warm feelings remain
with her ; long may they linger near her household hearth^ and
hallow it with their pure presence !