Eggleston_End_of_the_World.txt topic ['13', '324', '378', '393']
" that will make trouble for many years. me see. 't we do
this?" rapidly unfolded to and her plan of
operations against the enemy.
" one!" said . "'ll fall into that air amby-scade as sure
as shootin'. plan is military and and civilized and human
and angelical and tancy-crumptious. ort to meet the 'proval of the
-hawk with all his pinions and talents. 'll help to
execute it, and beat the rascals or lay my bones a-bleachin' on the
desert sands of ."
"," said to , " knew, if took you under my roof,
you'd make a of me in spite of myself. _am_ a sort of
savage, that's a fact."
hurried home and sent over to the castle, and there was
much work going on that afternoon. said that the castle was being
made ready for its first siege. night came on, was in a perfect
glee. by standing over the stove, with sleeves above her elbows
and her black hair falling down upon her shoulders, she was such a
picture that stopped and stood in the door a minute to look at
her as he came in to supper.
", , how glorious you look!" he said. "'ve a great mind to fall
in love with you, mein !"
" _have_ fallen in love with _you_, !" well she
might, for surely, as he stood in the door with his well-knit frame, his
fine forehead, his pure, refined mouth, and his clear, honest,
amiable blue eyes, he was a man to fall in love with.
.
.
's " of the " had not been
made wholly in , it would not have lacked so many words that
do duty as native-born or naturalized citizens in large sections of the
, and among these words is the one that stands at the head
of the present chapter. know that some disdainful prig will assure me
that it is but a corruption of the "_charivari,"_ and so it is;
but then "_charivari_" is a corruption of the low "_charivarium_"
and that is a corruption of something else, and, indeed, almost every
word is a corruption of some other word. that there is no good reason
why "shiveree," which lives in entire unconsciousness of its
parentage and its grand-parentage, should not find its place in an
" ."
while am writing a disquisition on the etymology of the word, the
"shiveree" is mustering at 's store. has concluded that
he is in no immediate danger of perdition, and that a man is a "blamed
fool to git skeered about his soul." is sure the will
not be too hard on a feller, and so thinks he will go on having "a
little fun" now and then. among the manly recreations which they
have proposed to themselves is that of shivereeing "that ,
." is the solemn opinion of the whole crowd that "no
hadn't orter be so lucky as to git sech a beauty of a gal and a hundred
acres of bottom lands to boot."
members of the party were all disguised, some in one way and some in
another, though most of them had their coats inside out. thought it
necessary to be disguised, "bekase, you know," as expressed it,
"ole is apt to prosecute ef he gits evidence agin you." many
were the conjectures as to whether he would shoot or not.
instruments provided by this orchestra were as various as their
musical tastes. is likely that even . never saw
such an outfit. had a dumb-bull, a keg with a strip of
raw-hide stretched across one end like a drum-head, while the other
remained open. waxed cord inserted in the middle of the drum-head, and
reaching down through the keg, completed the instrument. pulling of
the hand over this cord made a hideous bellowing, hence its name.
had a gigantic watchman's rattle, a hickory spring on a cog-wheel.
is called in the , a horse-fiddle, because it is so unlike either
a horse or a fiddle. there were melodious tin pans and conch-shells
and tin horns. the most deadly noise was made by , who had
two iron skillet-lids ("leds" he called them) which, when placed face to
face, and rubbed, as you have seen children rub tumblers, made a sound
discordant and deafening enough to have suggested 's expression
about the hinges which "grated harsh thunder."
of this party was a tallish man, so dressed as to look like a
hunchback, and a hunchback so tall was a most singular figure. had
joined them in the dark, and the rest were unable to guess who it could
be, and he, for his part, would not tell. thumped him and pushed
him, but at each attack he only leaped from the ground like a circus
clown, and made his tin horn utter so doleful a complaint as set the
party in an uproar of laughter. could not be sure who he was, but
he was a funny fellow to have along with them at any rate.
was not only funny, but he was evidently fearless. when they came
to the castle it was all dark and still. said that it looked
"powerful juberous to him. meant to use shootin'-ir'ns, and
didn't want to be pestered with no lights blazin' in his eyes." the
tall hunchback cleared the fence at a bound, and told them to come on
"ef they had the sperrit of a two-weeks-old goslin into 'em." the
bottle was passed round, and for very shame they followed their
ungainly leader.
" here, boys," said the hunchback, "they's one way that we can fix
it so's ole can't shoot. 's a little shop-place, a sort of a
shed, agin the house, on the side next to the branch. 's git in thar
afore we begin, and he can't shoot."
orchestra were a little stupefied with drink, and they took the idea
quickly, never stopping to ask how they could retreat if chose to
shoot. thought things looked scaly, but he warn't agoin' to
backslide arter he'd got so fur.
they got into 's shop, where he had a new and beautiful
skiff in building, the tall hunchback shut the door, and the rest did
not notice that he put the key in his pocket.
serenade! a medley of discordant sounds, such a clatter and
clangor, such a rattle of horse-fiddle, such a bellowing of dumb-bull,
such a snorting of tin horns, such a ringing of tin pans, such a
grinding of skillet-lids! the house remained quiet.
thought that he heard a laugh within. may have lost her
self-control. was so happy, and a little unrestrained fun was so
strange a luxury!
last the door between the house and shop was suddenly opened, and
, radiant as she could be, stood on the threshold with a candle
in her hand.
" in, gentlemen."
the gentlemen essayed to go out.
" in, by thunder!" said , trying the outside door of the
shop.
" heard you were coming, gentlemen, and provided a little
entertainment. in!"
" in, boys," said the hunchback, "don't be afeard of nobody."
they followed the hunchback into the room, for there was
nothing else to be done. smell of hot coffee and the sight of a
well-spread table greeted their senses.
", my friends, thrice welcome!" said . " down your
instruments and have some supper."
" me relieve you," said , and she took the dumb-bull from
and the "horse-fiddle" from , the tin horns and tin pans from
others, and the two skillet-lids from , who looked as sheepish
as possible. escorted each of them to the table, though his face
did not look altogether cordial. old resentment for the treatment
of his father interfered with the heartiness of his hospitality.
hunchback in this light proved to be , of course; and
whispered to the one next to him that they had been "tuck in and done
fer that time."
"," said , "we are much obliged for your music."
would certainly have laughed out if she had not been so perplexed
in her mind to know whether was speaking the truth.
a motley set of wedding guests as they were, with their coats
inside out and their other disguises! a race of pied pipers!
looking at their hangdog faces you would have said, " a lot of
sheep-thieves!" why a sheep-thief is considered to be a more
guilty-looking man than any other criminal, do not know. looked
bright enough and ridiculous enough with his hunch. all ate rather
heartily, for how could they resist the attentions of and the
persuasions of , who poured them coffee and handed them biscuit,
and waited upon them as though they were royal guests! , moreover,
the act of eating served to cover their confusion.
the meal drew to a close, felt that he, being in some sense
the leader of the party, ought to speak. was not quite sober, though
he could stand without much staggering. had been trying for some time
to frame a little speech, but his faculties did not work smoothly.
". -- mean . --permit me to offer you our pardon.
mean to beg your apologies--to--ahem--hope that our--that
your--our--thousand--thanks--your--you know what mean." he sat
down in foolish confusion.
"! yes. right; much obliged, my friend," said the ,
who had not felt so much boyish animal life in twenty-five years.
whispered to : " expressed my sentiments exactly."
". ," said , rising, and thus lifting up his hunched
shoulders and looking the picture of a long-legged heron standing in the
water, ". , you and our young and happy friend, . ,
will accept our thanks. thought that music was all you wanted to gin
a delightful--kinder--sorter--well, top-dressin', to this interestin'
occasion. they's nothin' sweeter'n a tin horn, 'thout 'tis a
melodious conch-shell utterin' its voice like a turkle-dove. we've
got the paytent double whirlymagig hoss-violeen, and the tin pannyforte,
and, better nor all, the grindin' skelletled cymbals. 've laid
ourselves out and done our purtiest--hain't we, feller-musicians?--to
prove that we was the best band on the . ' all out of
affection and respect for this ere happy pair. we're all happy to be
here. 't we?" ( they all nodded assent, though they looked as
though they wished themselves far enough.) " enstruments is a leetle
out of toon, owin' to the dampness of the night air, and so trust
you'll excuse us playin' a farewell piece."
was so anxious to get away that he took advantage of this turn
to say good-evening, and though the mischievous insisted that he
should select his instrument, he had not the face to confess to the
skillet-lids, and got out of it by assuring her that he hadn't brought
nothing, "only come along to see the fun." each member of the party
repeated the transparent lie, so that found herself supplied with
more musical instruments than any young housekeeper need want, and
hung them, horns, pans, conch-shell, dumb-bull, horse-fiddle,
skillet-lids, and all, in his library, as trophies captured from
the enemy.
as should like to tell you of the later events of the
's life, and about and , and their oldest son,
whose name is , and all that, do not know that can do better
than to bow myself out with the abashed serenaders, letting this musical
epilogue harmoniously close the book; writing just here.