Collins_The_New_Magdalen.txt topic ['13', '324', '378', '393']
^pille -look forward to it noir' k t^ eE-
leet prodnoe on . the women are off
to the milKneni to qpend more monqr than ever; the
men are off to bnainesa to make more money than evi-
while my grooer^lond in my praises in hb coat^ turos
up his weekday sleeves aiMl adulterates his favorite preach-
er's sugar as oheerflll^p' as usoal
** have eha^ in past years, fdt the objections to pnrso-
ing my career which are here indicated. were bitt^
present to my nnnd whi resigned my curacy, and th^
strongly influence me now.
^I am weary of my cheaply won success in the pnlpk^
am weary of sodety as find it in my time. felt some rs^
spect for myseli^ and some heart and hope in my work, amoi^
the nuserable wretches in . can
not^ and must not^ return among them : have no right, nanxr^
to trifle with my health and my life.^ must go bade to ny
preaching, or must leave . a primitive
people, away from the cities in the far and fertile of
the great continent might live happily with ray
wife, and do good among my neighbors, secure of providing
for our wants out of the modest little income which is al-
most useless to me here. the life which thus picture to
myself see love, peace, health, and duties and occupations
that are worthy of a man. prospect is be-
fore me if take the advice of my friends and stay here?
of which am weary, because have long since ceased
to respect it; petty malice that strikes at mo through my
wife, and mortifies and humiliates her, turn where she may.
had only myself to think of, might defy the worst that
malice can do. have to think of ^Mercy, whom
love better than my own life ! live, poor things,
in the opinions of others. have had one warning already
of what my wife is likely to suffer at the hands of my
* friends * forgive me for misusing the word !
. 321
deliberately expose her to fresh mortifications ? and this
for the sake of returning to a career the rewards of which
no longer prize ? ! will both be happy we will
both be free ! )d is merciful, is kind, is true,
in the as well as the , the
we will go !"
.
" hardly know whether have done right or wrong.
mentioned yesterday to the cold reception of me
on my return to , and the painful sense of it felt by
my wife.
*' aunt looks at the matter from her own peculiar point
of view, and makes light of it accordingly. ' never did,
and never will, understand , ,' said her ladyship.
* poor stupid people simply don't know what to do.
are waiting to be told by a person of distinction wheth-
er they are, or are not, to recognize your marriage. plain
, they are waiting to be led by . it done.
will lead them.'
" thought my aunt was joking. event of to-day has
shown me that she is terribly in earnest. has
issued invitations for one of her grand balls at &blethorpe
; and she has caused the report to be circulated every-
where that the object of the festival is * to celebrate the mar-
riage of . and . !'
" at first refused to be present. my amazement, how-
ever, sides with my aunt. reminds me of all that
we both owe to ; and she has persuaded me to ni-
ter my mind. are to go to the ball at my wife's ex-
press request !
" meaning of this, as interpret it, is that my poor
love is still pursued in secret by the dread that my marriage
has injured me in the general estimation. will suffer
any thing, risk any thing, believe any thing, to be freed from
that one haunting doubt. predicts a social tri-
vmfhi and mj wUb drnprnt^^-wi^ mj wifei's 0OfBms:i6m!t-^
the piopbeoj. f me, aiii pcepar^ i^ tb^ m
suit wOI d ia our going to the , and toyi^
in its iatmaf^ smoiig tbe forests sod the jiaim*
shall qnietlj prapaie lor our dqpsrtais^ and own whi^ ?e
done at the right time tiiat is to say, when the ball is o?$r.?
^I hsTO met witii tbe man lor my piirpose--an.oId eoOege
friend el mlaeinow partner in a firm of ship-ownm^ lrg^
e(moerned in emigration*
^Qne of tbdr saQa lor from the port of
, in a at . . a ^rtii?
nate eoinddenoeiXadyJan^V ball takes place ini^ loH^ugM*
. . , ,
^Helped by the kindness of myfrtendylhaye amused te
have a cabin kept in reserve mi paym^t o| a spiall. deposit
the ball ends (as believe it will) in new mortifications for
do what they may, defy them to mortify me
have only to say the word by telegraph, and we shall catch
the ship at .
" know the effect it will have when break the news to
her, but am prepared with my remedy. pages of my
diary, written in past years, will show plainly enough that it
is not she who is driving me away from . will
see the longing in me for other work and other scenes ex-
pressing itself over and over again long before the time when
we first met."
.
"'s ball dress a present from kind is
finished. was allowed to see the first trial, or preliminary
rehearsal, of this work of art. don't in the least understand
the merits of silk and lace ; but one thing know ^my wife
will be the most beautiful woman at the ball.
" same day 1 ca&e^i owluaL^^ /5^5v^\li ibank her, and
. 323
encountered a new revelation of the wayward and original
character of my dear old aunt.
" was on the point of tearing up a letter when went
into her room. me, she suspended her purpose and
handed me the letter. was in 's handwriting.
pointed to a passage on the last page. *
your wife, with my love,' she said, * that am the most obsti-
nate woman of the two. positively refuse to read her, as
positively refuse to listen to her, whenever she attempts to
return to that one subject. give me the letter back.'
gave it back, and saw it torn up before my face. * one
subject' prohibited to as sternly as ever is still the
subject of the personation of !
could have been more naturally introduced, or more delicate-
ly managed, than my wife's brief reference to the subject
matter. reading of the first line was enough.
shut her eyes and destroyed the letter ^Lady is
determined to live and die absolutely ignorant of the true
story of * .' unanswerable riddles we
are! it wonderful if we perpetually fail to understand
one another ?"
.
" morning after the ball
" is done and over. has beaten .
have neither patience nor time to write at length of it.
leave for by the afternoon express.
" were rather late in arriving iat the ball. mag-
nificent rooms were filling fast. through them with
my wife, she drew my attention to a circumstance which
had not noticed at the time. * ,' she said, ' look round
among the ladies, and tell me if you see any thing strange.'
looked round the band began playing a waltz. ob-
served that a few people only passed by us to the dancing-
room. noticed next that of those few fewer still were
young. last it burst upon me. ' ^tXj^ccl ^Lssw^'
{to 1$/% a lo prove llio rule), there were no young giris at
's ball. 1 took at once back to the recep-
tftRHiMHII. 's face showed that ehe too was aware
of l^Mt had happtntd. guesia were still arrivJDg.
noAni tbfl man 114 deir iriTM^tbe mm tod tbw'tnptlMn^
tbe men and thtir gmadtnother~btttv m plaM of tbeir t-r
loarried daogbttci^ eUwrtla exeoMC, offered with ahamele
politeocai vcodarfal to aea. . !niu was how tha ma-
trmifl in ^i badgot ava.tha diSovUr of maeticg .
at 'a boosa.
"fjetawdoatriotJDttioatoeTaT'wifv -^
presott abowed the aeedftd rapaot &r thnr buien: - "
did their daty no, orerdid , ia pwhapa-tbe better pfaraaa, ;
** raaQy bad o adaqnate idaa^the eoarseDeunid ni
neet vhioh have flltered'tliur way through nociety in'lhen
later timea until aav the reoeption aooorded to my w&
days of prudery and prejn^oe ars diys gone. hy. -^
cessive atniabUity and ezoessive liberality are the two favor-
ite assumptionfl of the modem generation. see the worn-'
en expressing tlieir liberal forgetfalneBB of my wife's misfor-
tunes, and the men their amiable ansiety to encourage her
husband; to hear tbe same set phrases repeated in every
room ' charmed to make your acqn^ntance, -s. ;
so much obliged to dear for giving us this op-
portunity ! , old man, what a beautiful creature !
envy you ; upon my , envy you !' to receive this sort
of welcome, emphasized by obtrusive hand -shakings, some-
times actually by downright kissings of my wife, and then to
look round and see that not one in thirty of these very peo-
ple had brought their unmarried daughters to the ball, was,
honestly believe, to see civilized human nature in its basest
conceivable aspect, - may have its dis^
pointments in store for us, but it can not possibly show us any
spectacle bo abject as the spectacle which we witoeesed last
night at my aunt's ball.
. 325
" marked her sense of the proceeding adopted
by her guests by leaving them to themselves. guests re-
mained and supped heartily notwithstanding. all knew
by experience that there were no stale dishes and no cheap
wines at . drank to the end of the
bottle, and they ate to the last truffle in the dish.
" and had an interview with my aunt up stairs be-
fore we left. felt it necessary to state plainly my resolution
to leave . scene that followed was so painful
that can not prevail on myself to return to it in these pages.
vMy wife is reconciled to our departure ; and - ac-
companies us as far as these are the results.
words can express my sense of relief, now that it is all settled.
one sorrow shall carry;away with mo from the shores
of will be the sorrow of parting with dear warm-
hearted . her age it is a parting for life.
" closer my connection with my own country.
have by my side face the unknown future, certain of
carrying my happiness with me, go where may. shall
find five hundred adventurers like ourselves when we join the
emigrant ship, for whom their native land has no occupation
and no homB. of the , add
two more to the number of social failures produced by -
gland in the year of our eighteen hundred and seventy-
one and ."