by deceit only was it rendered possible. If a
starving man succeeds in stealing a loaf of bread, the food will benefit him no
less than if he had purchased it; it is good, true sustenance, no matter how he
got it. To be sure, the man may prefer starvation; he may have so strong a
metaphysical faith that death is welcome in comparison with what he calls
dishonour. I - I have no such faith; and millions of other men in this country
would tell the blunt truth if they said the same. I have used means, that's all.
The old way of candour led me to bitterness and cursing; by dissimulation I have
won something more glorious than tongue can tell.«
    It was in the endeavour to expel the subtlest enemy of his peace that Godwin
dwelt so defiantly upon this view of the temptation to which he had yielded.
Since his farewell interview with Sidwell, he knew no rest from the torment of a
mocking voice which bade him bear in mind that all his dishonour had been
superfluous, seeing that whilst he played the part of a zealous Christian,
Sidwell herself was drifting further and further from the old religion. This
voice mingled with his dreams, and left not a waking hour untroubled. He refused
to believe it, strove against the suggestion as a half-despairing man does
against the persistent thought of suicide. If only he could obtain Earwaker's
assent to the plan he put forward, it would support him in disregard of idle
regrets.
    »It is impossible,« said the journalist, »for anyone to determine whether
that is true or not - for you, as much as for anyone else. Be glad that you have
shaken off the evil and retained the good, - no use in saying more than that.«
    »Yes,« declared the other, stubbornly, »there is good in exposing false
views of life. I ought to have come utterly to grief and shame, and instead« -
    »Instead -? Well?«
    »What I have told you.«
    »Which I interpret thus: that you have permission to redeem your character,
if possible, in the eyes of a woman you have grievously misled.«
    Godwin frowned.
    »Who suggested this to you, Earwaker?«
    »You; no one else. I don't even know who the woman is of whom you speak.«
    »Grant you are right. As an honest man, I should never have won her faintest
interest.«
    »It is absurd for us to talk about it. Think in the