own insincerity! How many a time
had she suffered from the restraints imposed upon her, and then secretly allowed
herself indulgences, and then again persuaded herself that by severe attention
to formalities she blotted out her sin!
    But the worst was when Cecily Doran came to live in the house. Cecily was
careless in religion, had been subjected to no proper severity, had not been
taught to probe her conscience. At once Miriam assumed an attitude of spiritual
pride - the beginning of an evil which was to strengthen its hold upon her
through years. She would be an example to the poor little heathen; she talked
with her unctuously; she excited herself, began to find a pleasure in
asceticism, and drew the susceptible girl into the same way. They would
privately appoint periods of fasting, and at several successive meals irritate
their hunger by taking only one or two morsels; when faintness came upon them,
they gloried in the misery.
    And from that stage of youth survived memories far more painful than those
of childhood. Miriam shut her mind against them.
    Her marriage came about in the simplest way; nothing easier to understand,
granted these circumstances. The friends of the family were few, and all people
of the same religious sect, of the same commercial sphere. Miriam had never
spoken with a young man whom she did not in her heart despise; the one or two
who might possibly have been tempted to think of her as a desirable wife were
repelled by her austerity. She had now a character to support; she had made
herself known for severe devotion to the things of the spirit. In her poor
little world she could not submit to be less than pre-eminent, and only by the
way of religion was pre-eminence to be assured. When the wealthy and pious
manufacturer sought her hand, she doubted for a while, but was in the end
induced to consent by the reflection that not only would she be freer, but at
the same time enjoy a greatly extended credit and influence. Her pride silenced
every other voice.
    Religious hypocrisy is in our day a very rare thing; so little is to be
gained by it. To be sure, the vast majority of English people are constantly
guilty of hypocritical practices, but that, as a rule, is mere testimony to the
rootedness of their orthodox faith. Mr. Elgar, shutting himself up between
breakfast and chapel to write business letters - which he pre- or post-dated -
was ignoble enough, but not therefore a hypocrite. Had a fatal accident happened
to one of his family whilst he was thus employed,