disembodied thought flew round her, comparing her
with Vernon to her discredit. He had for years borne much that was distasteful
to him, for the purpose of studying, and with his poor income helping the poorer
than himself. She dwelt on him in pity and envy; he had lived in this place, and
so must she; and he had not been dishonoured by his modesty: he had not failed
of self-control, because he had a life within. She was almost imagining she
might imitate him, when the clash of a sharp physical thought: »The difference!
the difference!« told her she was woman and never could submit. Can a woman have
an inner life apart from him she is yoked to? She tried to nestle deep away in
herself: in some corner where the abstract view had comforted her, to flee from
thinking as her feminine blood directed. It was a vain effort. The difference,
the cruel fate, the defencelessness of women, pursued her, strung her to wild
horses' backs, tossed her on savage wastes. In her case duty was shame: hence,
it could not be broadly duty. That intolerable difference proscribed the word.
    But the fire of a brain burning high and kindling everything, lit up herself
against herself: - Was one so volatile as she a person with a will? - Were they
not a multitude of flitting wishes, that she took for a will? - Was she,
feather-headed that she was, a person to make a stand on physical pride? - If
she could yield her hand without reflection (as she conceived she had done, from
incapacity to conceive herself doing it reflectively), was she much better than
purchaseable stuff that has nothing to say to the bargain?
    Furthermore, said her incandescent reason, she had not suspected such art of
cunning in Willoughby. Then might she not be deceived altogether - might she not
have misread him? Stronger than she had fancied, might he not be likewise more
estimable? The world was favourable to him: he was prized by his friends.
    She reviewed him. It was all in one flash. It was not much less
intentionally favourable than the world's review and that of his friends, but,
beginning with the idea of them, she recollected - heard Willoughby's voice
pronouncing his opinion of his friends and the world; of Vernon Whitford and
Colonel De Craye, for example, and of men and women. An undefined agreement to
have the same regard for him as his friends and the world had, provided that he
kept at the