pretend, must be sinless: as if
those were not often the best teachers who only yesterday got corrected for
their mistakes. Throughout their friendship Deronda had been used to Hans's
egotism, but he had never before felt intolerant of it: when Hans, habitually
pouring out his own feelings and affairs, had never cared for any detail in
return, and, if he chanced to know any, had soon forgotten it. Deronda had been
inwardly as well as outwardly indulgent - nay, satisfied. But now he noted with
some indignation, all the stronger because it must not be betrayed, Hans's
evident assumption that for any danger of rivalry or jealousy in relation to
Mirah, Deronda was as much out of the question as the angel Gabriel. It is one
thing to be resolute in placing one's self out of the question, and another to
endure that others should perform that exclusion for us. He had expected that
Hans would give him trouble: what he had not expected was that the trouble would
have a strong element of personal feeling. And he was rather ashamed that Hans's
hopes caused him uneasiness in spite of his well-warranted conviction that they
would never be fulfilled. They had raised an image of Mirah changing; and
however he might protest that the change would not happen, the protest kept up
the unpleasant image. Altogether, poor Hans seemed to be entering into Deronda's
experience in a disproportionate manner - going beyond his part of rescued
prodigal, and rousing a feeling quite distinct from compassionate affection.
    When Deronda went to Chelsea he was not made as comfortable as he ought to
have been by Mrs. Meyrick's evident release from anxiety about the beloved but
incalculable son. Mirah seemed livelier than before, and for the first time he
saw her laugh. It was when they were talking of Hans, he being naturally the
mother's first topic. Mirah wished to know if Deronda had seen Mr. Hans going
through a sort of character piece without changing his dress.
    »He passes from one figure to another as if he were a bit of flame where you
fancied the figures without seeing them,« said Mirah, full of her subject; »he
is so wonderfully quick. I used never to like comic things on the stage - they
were dwelt on too long; but all in one minute Mr. Hans makes himself a blind
bard, and then Rienzi addressing the Romans, and then an opera-dancer, and then
a desponding young gentleman - I am sorry for them all, and yet I laugh, all in
one« -