Lyon, feeling, while the door closed behind his
guest, that mixture of uneasiness and relief which all procrastination of
difficulty produces in minds capable of strong forecast. The work was still to
be done. He had still before him the task of learning everything that could be
learned about this man's relation to himself and Esther.
    Christian, as he made his way back along Malthouse Lane, was thinking, »This
old fellow has got some secret in his head. It's not likely he can know anything
about me; it must be about Bycliffe. But Bycliffe was a gentleman: how should he
ever have had anything to do with such a seedy old ranter as that?«
 

                                   Chapter 15

 And doubt shall be as lead upon the feet
 Of thy most anxious will.
 
Mr Lyon was careful to look in at Felix as soon as possible after Christian's
departure, to tell him that his trust was discharged. During the rest of the day
he was somewhat relieved from agitating reflections by the necessity of
attending to his ministerial duties, the rebuke of rebellious singers being one
of them; and on his return from the Monday evening prayer-meeting he was so
overcome with weariness that he went to bed without taking note of any objects
in his study. But when he rose the next morning, his mind, once more eagerly
active, was arrested by Philip Debarry's letter, which still lay open on his
desk, and was arrested by precisely that portion which had been unheeded the day
before: »I shall consider myself doubly fortunate if at any time you can point
out to me some method by which I may procure you as lively a satisfaction as I
am now feeling, in that full and speedy relief from anxiety which I owe to your
considerate conduct.«
    To understand how these words could carry the suggestion they actually had
for the minister in a crisis of peculiar personal anxiety and struggle, we must
bear in mind that for many years he had walked through life with the sense of
having for a space been unfaithful to what he esteemed the highest trust ever
committed to man - the ministerial vocation. In a mind of any nobleness, a lapse
into transgression against an object still regarded as supreme, issues in a new
and purer devotedness, chastised by humility and watched over by a passionate
regret. So it was with that ardent spirit which animated the little body of
Rufus Lyon. Once in his life he had been blinded, deafened, hurried along by
rebellious impulse; he had gone astray after his own desires, and had let the
fire die out on the altar;