, I
might refashion life and character entirely after my own liking; I might select
the most unexceptionable type of clergyman, and put my own admirable opinions
into his mouth on all occasions. But it happens, on the contrary, that my
strongest effort is to avoid any such arbitrary picture, and to give a faithful
account of men and things as they have mirrored themselves in my mind. The
mirror is doubtless defective; the outlines will sometimes be disturbed, the
reflection faint or confused; but I feel as much bound to tell you as precisely
as I can what that reflection is, as if I were in the witness-box narrating my
experience on oath.
    Sixty years ago - it is a long time, so no wonder things have changed - all
clergymen were not zealous; indeed there is reason to believe that the number of
zealous clergyman was small, and it is probable that if one among the small
minority had owned the livings of Broxton and Hayslope in the year 1799, you
would have liked him no better than you like Mr. Irwine. Ten to one, you would
have thought him a tasteless, indiscreet, methodistical man. It is so very
rarely that facts hit that nice medium required by our own enlightened opinions
and refined taste! Perhaps you will say, »Do improve the facts a little, then;
make them more accordant with those correct views which it is our privilege to
possess. The world is not just what we like; do touch it up with a tasteful
pencil, and make believe it is not quite such a mixed entangled affair. Let all
people who hold unexceptionable opinions act unexceptionably. Let your most
faulty characters always be on the wrong side, and your virtuous ones on the
right. Then we shall see at a glance whom we are to condemn, and whom we are to
approve. Then we shall be able to admire, without the slightest disturbance of
our prepossessions: we shall hate and despise with that true ruminant relish
which belongs to undoubting confidence.«
    But, my good friend, what will you do then with your fellow-parishioner who
opposes your husband in the vestry? - with your newly-appointed vicar, whose
style of preaching you find painfully below that of his regretted predecessor? -
with the honest servant who worries your soul with her one failing? - with your
neighbour, Mrs. Green, who was really kind to you in your last illness, but has
said several ill-natured things about you since your convalescence? - nay, with
your excellent husband himself, who has other irritating habits besides that of
not wiping