and who certainly was so, except in a few trifling points like this, it might so happen that latin epitaphs would prove a sarcasm where they were meant to be a panegyric; for to praise a dead person in a language

he was unacquainted with while living, though a tacit, would be a very strong satire; besides being a cruel inconvenience to his family, who must, in this case, be obliged to get the parson to construe the virtues of the deceased, who, after all, perhaps might not be able to do it off hand. She therefore clearly apprehended, that as Dr. JOHNSON had issued a literary bill, enacting that an epitaph could not be perfect which did not mention the particulars before rehearsed, the next infallible writer—if ever this country should be blest with another, should be petitioned to move, by way of rider, that, for the benefit of the public in general, all such epitaphs should be done in English.
'But,' said she, finishing her harrangue, 'dear Doctor JOHNSON put me in mind at last of DOMITIUS AFER, who would be an orator when he could no longer be audible, and of whom QUINTILIAN said that he would rather sail than desist.'

It is now high time I should account for that strange jumble of accidents which, in so short a time, saved an hundred men from bodily hurt, and yet killed another, who had no concern at all in the fray.
The reader will recollect that Standfast had a scheme in agitation. It was this: He knew Mrs.

Malplaquet to be of a most tender and compassionate temper, and he thought he could wound her through this weak side. He had therefore lured the major and her out, by way of an afternoon's ride, intending, when they arrived at the field of battle, to exclaim against the barbarity of the disputants, to jump out of the carriage, and to insist on their going peaceably home.
This he thought the lady would take in such a light as must greatly forward his designs. The contemplation of this scheme on his side, and the hopes of detecting him on the side of Mrs. Malplaquet, made them, on that afternoon, better satisfied with each other than they had been a long time, and gave the major such real pleasure, that he declared, as they were in the carriage, that he never passed so happy a day in his life, without divining, poor man, that it would be his last.
Mr. Standfast's kind intentions were, however, forestalled by Sir Sidney