?« Fudge!
    My wife had been for a long time all attention to this discourse; but was
particularly struck with the latter part of it. Thirty pounds and twenty-five
guineas a year made fifty-six pounds five shillings English money, all which was
in a manner going a-begging, and might easily be secured in the family. She for
a moment studied my looks for approbation; and, to own a truth, I was of
opinion, that two such places would fit our two daughters exactly. Besides, if
the 'Squire had any real affection for my eldest daughter, this would be the way
to make her every way qualified for her fortune. My wife therefore was resolved
that we should not be deprived of such advantages for want of assurance, and
undertook to harangue for the family. »I hope,« cried she, »your Ladyships will
pardon my present presumption. It is true, we have no right to pretend to such
favours; but yet it is natural for me to wish putting my children forward in the
world. And I will be bold to say my two girls have had a pretty good education,
and capacity, at least the country can't shew better. They can read, write, and
cast accompts; they understand their needle, breadstitch, cross and change, and
all manner of plain-work; they can pink, point, and frill; and know something of
music; they can do up small cloaths, work upon catgut; my eldest can cut paper,
and my youngest has a very pretty manner of telling fortunes upon the cards.«
Fudge!
    When she had delivered this pretty piece of eloquence, the two ladies looked
at each other a few minutes in silence, with an air of doubt and importance. At
last, Miss Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs condescended to observe, that the
young ladies, from the opinion she could form of them from so slight an
acquaintance, seemed very fit for such employments: »But a thing of this kind,
Madam,« cried she, addressing my spouse, »requires a thorough examination into
characters, and a more perfect knowledge of each other. Not, Madam,« continued
she, »that I in the least suspect the young ladies virtue, prudence and
discretion; but there is a form in these things, Madam, there is a form.«
    My wife approved her suspicions very much, observing, that she was very apt
to be suspicious herself; but referred her to all the neighbours for a
character: but this our Peeress declined as unnecessary, alledging