but this was not all: for where mere Ignorance is
to decide a Point between two Litigants, it will always be an even Chance
whether it decides right or wrong; but sorry am I to say, Right was often in a
much worse Situation than this, and Wrong hath often had Five hundred to one on
his Side before that Magistrate; who, if he was ignorant of the Law of England,
was yet well versed in the Laws of Nature. He perfectly well understood that
fundamental Principle so strongly laid down in the Institutes of the learned
Rochefoucault; by which the Duty of Self-love is so strongly enforced, and every
Man is taught to consider himself as the Centre of Gravity, and to attract all
things thither. To speak the Truth plainly, the Justice was never indifferent in
a Cause, but when he could get nothing on either Side.
    Such was the Justice to whose tremendous Bar, Mr. Gotobed the Constable on
the Day above-mentioned, brought several Delinquents, who, as we have said, had
been apprehended by the Watch for diverse Outrages.
    The first who came upon his Trial was as bloody a Spectre as ever the
Imagination of a Murderer or a Tragic Poet conceived. This poor Wretch was
charged with a Battery by a much stouter Man than himself: indeed the accused
Person bore about him some Evidence that he had been in an Affray, his Cloaths
being very bloody; but certain open Sluices on his own Head sufficiently shewed
whence all the scarlet Stream had issued; whereas the Accuser had not the least
Mark or Appearance of any Wound. The Justice asked the Defendant, What he meant
by breaking the King's Peace - To which he answered, - »Upon my Shoul I do love
the King very well, and I have not been after breaking any Thing of his that I
do know; but upon my Shoul this Man hath brake my Head, and my Head did brake
his Stick; that is all, Gra.« He then offered to produce several Witnesses
against this improbable Accusation; but the Justice presently interrupted him,
saying, »Sirrah, your Tongue betrays your Guilt. You are an Irishman, and that
is always sufficient Evidence with me.«
    The second Criminal was a poor Woman, who was taken up by the Watch as a
Street-walker. It was alledged against her that she was found walking the
Streets after Twelve o'Clock, and the Watchman declared he believed her to be a
common Strumpet. She pleaded in her Defence (as was really the Truth) that she
was a Servant, and was sent