different Disguises? Sometimes thou
dost wear the Face of Pity, sometimes of Generosity: nay, thou hast the
Assurance even to put on those glorious Ornaments which belong only to heroick
Virtue. Thou odious, deformed Monster! whom Priests have railed at, Philosophers
despised, and Poets ridiculed: Is there a Wretch so abandoned as to own thee for
an Acquaintance in publick? yet, how few will refuse to enjoy thee in private?
nay, thou art the Pursuit of most Men through their Lives. The greatest
Villanies are daily practised to please thee: nor is the meanest Thief below, or
the greatest Hero above thy notice. Thy Embraces are often the sole Aim and sole
Reward of the private Robbery, and the plundered Province. It is, to pamper up
thee, thou Harlot, that we attempt to withdraw from others what we do not want,
or to with-hold from them what they do. All our Passions are thy Slaves. Avarice
itself is often no more than thy Hand-maid, and even Lust thy Pimp. The Bully
Fear like a Coward, flies before thee, and Joy and Grief hide their Heads in thy
Presence.
    I know thou wilt think, that whilst I abuse thee, I court thee; and that thy
Love hath inspired me to write this sarcastical Panegyrick on thee: but thou art
deceived, I value thee not of a farthing; nor will it give me any Pain, if thou
should'st prevail on the Reader to censure this Digression as errant Nonsense:
for know to thy Confusion, that I have introduced thee for no other Purpose than
to lengthen out a short Chapter; and so I return to my History.
 

                                  Chapter XVI

  The Escape of the Thief. Mr. Adams's Disappointment. The Arrival of two very
    extraordinary Personages, and the Introduction of Parson Adams to Parson
                                   Barnabas.
 
Barnabas and the Surgeon being returned, as we have said, to the Inn, in order
to convey the Thief before the Justice, were greatly concerned to find a small
Accident had happened which somewhat disconcerted them; and this was no other
than the Thief's Escape, who had modestly withdrawn himself by Night, declining
all Ostentation, and not chusing, in imitation of some great Men, to distinguish
himself at the Expence of being pointed at.
    When the Company had retired the Evening before, the Thief was detained in a
Room where the Constable, and one of the young Fellows who took him, were
planted as his Guard. About the second Watch, a general Complaint of Drowth was
made both by the Prisoner and his Keepers. Among