consider'd better of the Matter, and was absolutely
resolved to turn away Joseph; which she ordered her to do immediately. Slipslop,
who knew the Violence of her Lady's Temper, and would not venture her Place for
any Adonis or Hercules in the Universe, left her a third time; which she had no
sooner done, than the little God Cupid, fearing he had not yet done the Lady's
Business, took a fresh Arrow with the sharpest Point out of his Quiver, and shot
it directly into her Heart: in other and plainer Language, the Lady's Passion
got the better of her Reason. She called back Slipslop once more, and told her,
she had resolved to see the Boy, and examine him herself; therefore bid her send
him up. This wavering in her Mistress's Temper probably put something into the
Waiting-Gentlewoman's Head, not necessary to mention to the sagacious Reader.
    Lady Booby was going to call her back again, but could not prevail with
herself. The next Consideration therefore was, how she should behave to Joseph
when he came in. She resolved to preserve all the Dignity of the Woman of
Fashion to her Servant, and to indulge herself in this last View of Joseph (for
that she was most certainly resolved it should be) at his own Expence, by first
insulting, and then discarding him.
    O Love, what monstrous Tricks dost thou play with thy Votaries of both
Sexes! How dost thou deceive them, and make them deceive themselves! Their
Follies are thy Delight! Their Sighs make thee laugh, and their Pangs are thy
Merriment!
    Not the Great Rich, who turns Men into Monkeys, Wheelbarrows, and whatever
else best humours his Fancy, hath so strangely metamorphosed the human Shape;
nor the Great Cibber, who confounds all Number, Gender, and breaks through every
Rule of Grammar at his Will, hath so distorted the English Language, as thou
dost metamorphose and distort the human Senses.
    Thou puttest out our Eyes, stoppest up our Ears, and takest away the power
of our Nostrils; so that we can neither see the largest Object, hear the loudest
Noise, nor smell the most poignant Perfume. Again, when thou pleasest, thou
can'st make a Mole-hill appear as a Mountain; a Jew's-Harp sound like a Trumpet;
and a Dazy smell like a Violet. Thou can'st make Cowardice brave, Avarice
generous, Pride humble, and Cruelty tender-hearted. In short, thou turnest the
Heart of Man inside-out, as