a Present in that Day, when he broke three Heads on
the Stage. It was a Cudgel of mighty Strength and wonderful Art, made by one of
Mr. Deard's best Workmen, whom no other Artificer can equal; and who hath made
all those Sticks which the Beaus have lately walked with about the Park in a
Morning: But this was far his Master-piece; on its Head was engraved a Nose and
Chin, which might have been mistaken for a Pair of Nut-crackers. The Learned
have imagined it designed to represent the Gorgon: but it was in fact copied
from the Face of a certain long English Baronet of infinite Wit, Humour, and
Gravity. He did intend to have engraved here many Histories: As the first Night
of Captain B--'s Play, where you would have seen Criticks in Embroidery
transplanted from the Boxes to the Pit, whose ancient Inhabitants were exalted
to the Galleries, where they played on Catcalls. He did intend to have painted
an Auction-Room, where Mr. Cock would have appeared aloft in his Pulpit,
trumpeting forth the Praises of a China Bason; and with Astonishment wondering
that Nobody bids more for that fine, that superb - He did intend to have
engraved many other things, but was forced to leave all out for want of room.
    No sooner had Joseph grasped this Cudgel in his Hands, than Lightning darted
from his Eyes; and the heroick Youth, swift of Foot, ran with the utmost speed
to his Friend's assistance. He overtook him just as Rockwood had laid hold of
the Skirt of his Cassock, which being torn hung to the ground. Reader, we would
make a Simile on this Occasion, but for two Reasons: The first is, it would
interrupt the Description, which should be rapid in this Part; but that doth not
weigh much, many Precedents occurring for such an Interruption: The second, and
much the greater Reason is, that we could find no Simile adequate to our
Purpose: For indeed, what Instance could we bring to set before our Reader's
Eyes at once the Idea of Friendship, Courage, Youth, Beauty, Strength, and
Swiftness; all which blazed in the Person of Joseph Andrews. Let those therefore
that describe Lions and Tigers, and Heroes fiercer than both, raise their Poems
or Plays with the Simile of Joseph Andrews, who is himself above the reach of
any Simile.
    Now Rockwood had laid fast hold on the Parson's Skirts, and stopt his
Flight; which Joseph no sooner perceived, than he levelled his Cudgel at