of an over-thoughtful Mind, on an
Occasion the most solemn and important of one's Life, next to the last Scene,
which shuts up all.
    I could be very serious! But I will commit all my Ways to that blessed
Providence, which hitherto has so wonderfully conducted me, thro' real Evils, to
this hopeful Situation.
    I only fear, and, sure, I have great Reason, that I shall be too unworthy,
to hold the Affections of so dear a Gentleman! - God teach me Humility, and to
know my own Demerit! And this will be, next to his Grace, my surest Guard, in
the State of Life to which I am most unworthily going to be exalted. And don't
cease your Prayers for me, my dear Parents; for, perhaps, this new Condition may
be subject to still worse Hazards than those I have escap'd; as would be the
Case, were Conceitedness, Vanity, and Pride, to take hold of my frail Heart! and
if I was, for my Sins, to be left to my own Conduct, a frail Ship in a
tempestuous Ocean, without Ballast, or other Pilot than my own inconsiderate
Will. But my Master said, on another Occasion, that those who doubted most,
always erred least; and, I hope, I shall always doubt my own Strength, my own
Worthiness!
    I will not trouble you with twenty sweet agreeable things, that pass'd in
Conversation with my excellent Benefactor; nor with the Civilities of Mr.
Colbrand, Mrs. Jewkes, and all the Servants, who seem to be highly pleas'd with
me, and with my Conduct to them: And, as my Master, hitherto, finds no Fault
that I go too low, nor they that I carry it too high, I hope I shall continue to
have every body's Goodwill. But yet, will I not seek to gain any one's by little
Meannesses or Debasements; but aim at an uniform and regular Conduct, willing to
conceal involuntary Errors, as I would have my own forgiven, and not too
industrious to discover real ones, or to hide such, if any such should appear,
as might encourage bad Hearts, or unclean Hands, in material Cases, where my
Master should receive Damage, or where the Morals of the Transgressors should
appear wilfully and habitually corrupt. In short, I will endeavour, as much as I
can, that a good Servant shall in me find a kind Encourager; an indifferent one
be made better, by inspiring