to any other Country if I thought fit; but now I had another Difficulty,
which was, that if I remov'd to another Colony, I put myself out of the way of
ever making a due Search after those Things which my Mother had left: Again, I
could never so much as think of breaking the Secret of my former Marriage to my
new Husband; it was not a Story, would bear telling, nor could I tell what might
be the Consequences of it; it was impossible too, without making it publick all
over the Country, as well who I was, as what I now was also.
    This Perplexity continu'd a great while, and made my Spouse very uneasy; for
he thought I was not open with him, and did not let him into every Part of my
Grievance; and he would often say, he wonder'd what he had done, that I would
not trust him, whatever it was, especially if it was grievous and afflicting;
the Truth is, he ought to have been trusted with every Thing, for no Man could
deserve better of a Wife; but this was a thing I knew not how to open to him,
and yet having no Body to disclose any Part of it to, the Burthen was too heavy
for my Mind; for let them say what they please of our Sex not being able to keep
a Secret; my Life is a plain Conviction to me of the Contrary; but be it our
Sex, or the Men's Sex, a Secret of Moment should always have a Confident, a
bosom Friend, to whom we may communicate the Joy of it, or the Grief of it, be
it which it will, or it will be a double Weight upon the Spirits, and perhaps
become even insupportable in it self; and this I appeal to Human Testimony for
the Truth of.
    And this is the Cause why many times Men, as well as Women, and Men of the
greatest, and best Qualities other ways, yet have found themselves weak in this
Part, and have not been able to bear the Weight of a secret Joy, or of a secret
Sorrow; but have been oblig'd to disclose it, even for the mere giving Vent to
themselves, and to unbend the Mind, opprest with the Weights which attended it;
nor was this any Token of Folly at all, but a natural Consequence of the Thing;
and such People had they struggl'd longer with the Oppression, would certainly
have told it in their Sleep, and disclos'd the Secret