, I felt any real Signs of Repentance; I
now began to look back upon my past Life with abhorrence, and having a kind of
View into the other Side of Time, the Things of Life, as I believe they do with
every Body at such a Time, began to look with a different Aspect, and quite
another Shape, than they did before: The Views of felicity, the joy, the Griefs
of Life were quite other Things; and I had nothing in my Thoughts, but was so
infinitely Superiour to what I had known in Life, that it appear'd to be the
greatest stupidity to lay a Weight upon any thing tho' the most valuable in this
World.
    The Word Eternity represented it self with all its incomprehensible
Additions, and I had such extended Notions of it, that I know not how to express
them: Among the rest, how absurd did every pleasant Thing look? I mean, that we
had counted pleasant before; when I reflected that these sordid Trifles were the
things for which we forfeited eternal Felicity.
    With these Reflections came in of meer Course, severe Reproaches for my
wretched Behaviour in my past Life; that I had forfeited all hope of Happiness
in the Eternity that I was just going to enter into; and on the Contrary, was
entitled to all that was miserable; and all this with the frightful Addition of
its being also Eternal.
    I am not capable of reading Lectures of Instruction to any Body, but I
relate this in the very manner in which things then appear'd to me, as far as I
am able; but infinitely short of the lively impressions which they made on my
Soul at that time; indeed those Impressions are not to be explain'd by words, or
if they are, I am not Mistress of Words to express them; It must be the Work of
every sober Reader to make just Reflections, as their own Circumstances may
direct; and, this is what every one at some time or other may feel something of;
I mean a clearer Sight into things to come, than they had here, and a dark view
of their own Concern in them.
    But I go back to my own Case; the Minister press'd me to tell him, as far as
I thought convenient, in what State I found myself as to the Sight I had of
things beyond Life; he told me he did not come as Ordinary of the Place, whose
business it is to extort Confessions from Prisoners, for the farther detecting
of other Offenders; that his business was to move me to such