 should in my own opinion be the
vilest of miscreants, if I uttered a whisper to his disadvantage. But all this
did not avail: I was not fit for him; perhaps I was not good enough for him; at
all events I must be perpetually miserable so long as I continued to live with
him.
    I observed Mr. Forester gaze upon me eagerly with curiosity and surprise,
but this circumstance I did not think proper to notice. Having recovered
himself, he enquired, Why then, that being the case, I did not quit his service?
I answered, What he now touched upon was that which most of all contributed to
my misfortune. Mr. Falkland was not ignorant of my dislike to my present
situation; perhaps he thought it unreasonable, unjust; but I knew that he would
never be brought to consent to my giving way to it.
    Here Mr. Forester interrupted me; and, smiling, said, I magnified obstacles,
and overrated my own importance, adding that he would undertake to remove that
difficulty, as well as to provide me with a more agreeable appointment. This
suggestion produced in me a serious alarm. I replied, that I must intreat him
upon no account to think of applying to Mr. Falkland upon the subject. I added,
that perhaps I was only betraying my own imbecility; but in reality,
unacquainted as I was with experience and the world, I was afraid, though
disgusted with my present residence, to expose myself upon a mere project of my
own to the resentment of so considerable a man as Mr. Falkland. If he would
favour me with his advice upon the subject, or if he would only give me leave to
hope for his protection in case of any unforeseen accident, this was all I
presumed to request; and, thus encouraged, I would venture to obey the dictates
of my inclination, and fly in pursuit of my lost tranquillity.
    Having thus opened myself to this generous friend as far as I could do it
with propriety and safety, he sat for some time silent with an air of deep
reflection. At length with a countenance of unusual severity, and a
characteristic fierceness of manner and voice, he thus addressed me: Young man,
perhaps you are ignorant of the nature of the conduct you at present hold. May
be, you do not know that, where there is mystery, there is always something at
bottom that will not bear the telling. Is this the way to obtain the favour of a
man of consequence and respectability? To pretend to make a confidence, and then
tell him a disjointed
