 every day.--I met him indeed with
tears and confusion; but if any accident prevented his coming, or if he
even absented himself at my own request, the anguish I felt till I again
saw him convinced me that it was no longer in my power to live without
him.

'Trelawny had given me no directions for my conduct; nor had he even
written to me, 'till he had occasion for money. He then desired me to
send him five hundred guineas--a sum I had no immediate means of
raising, but by selling some of my jewels. This I would immediately have
done; but Fitz-Edward, who would not hear of it, brought me the money in
a few hours, and undertook to remit it, together with a letter from me,
to the unfortunate man for whom it was designed.

'He tried too--ah, how vainly!--to persuade me, that in acting thus I
had done more than my duty to such an husband. His sophistry, aided by
my own wishes to believe him, could not quiet the incessant reproaches
with which my conscience pursued me--I remembered my father's dying
injunctions, I remembered the inflexible notions of honour inherited by
both my brothers, and I trembled at the severe account to which I might
be called. I could now no longer flatter myself that my error would be
concealed, since of its consequences I could not doubt; and while I
suffered all the terrors of remorse and apprehension, Lord Clancarryl
came over.

'In order to take measures towards settling Trelawny's affairs, it was
necessary to send for his sister, who had a bond for five thousand
pounds, which claim was prior to every other. This woman, whom it was
extremely disagreeable to me to meet, lamented with vulgar clamour her
brother's misfortunes; which she said could never have happened if he
had not been so unlucky as to get quality notions into his head. I know
not what at first raised her suspicions; but I saw that she very
narrowly observed Fitz-Edward; and sneeringly said that it was _very
lucky_ indeed for me to have such a friend, and _quite kind_ in the
colonel to take so much trouble. She made herself thoroughly acquainted
with all that related to her brother, from the time of our parting in
Ireland; and I found that she had attempted to bribe my servant to give
her an account of my conduct; in which tho' she had failed of success,
she had found that Fitz-Edward had been constantly with me
