 was one day, in a certain
coffee-house, accosted by one of his particular friends, who, taking him by the
hand, expressed uncommon satisfaction in seeing him abroad, and in good health,
after the dangerous and portentous malady he had undergone. Surprised at this
salutation, the gentleman replied, it was true, he had been a little out of
order over-night, but there was nothing at all extraordinary in his
indisposition. Jesu! not extraordinary! (cried the other) when you vomited three
black crows. This strange exclamation the grave gentleman at first mistook for
raillery, tho' his friend was no joker; but perceiving in him all the marks of
sincerity and astonishment, he suddenly changed his opinion, and, after a short
reverie, taking him aside, expressed himself in these words, Sir, it is not
unknown to you, that I am at present engaged in a treaty of marriage, which
would have been settled long ago, had not it been retarded by the repeated
machinations of a certain person who professes himself my rival. Now I am fully
persuaded that this affair of the three crows is a story of his invention,
calculated to prejudice me in the opinion of the lady, who, to be sure, would
not choose to marry a man who has a rookery in his bowels; and therefore I must
insist upon knowing your author of this scandalous report, that I may be able to
vindicate my character from the malicious aspersion. His friend, who thought the
demand was very reasonable, told him, without hesitation, that he was made
acquainted with the circumstance of his distemper by Mr. Such-a-one, their
common acquaintance: upon which the person who conceived himself injured went
immediately in quest of his supposed defamer, and having found him, Pray, Sir,
(said he, with a peremptory tone) who told you that I vomited three black crows?
Three! (answered the gentleman) I mentioned two only. Zounds! Sir (cried the
other, incensed at his indifference) you will find the two too many, if you
refuse to discover the villainous source of such calumny. The gentleman,
surprised at his heat, said he was sorry to find he had been the accidental
instrument of giving him offence, but translated the blame (if any there was)
from himself to a third person, to whose information he owed his knowledge of
the report. The plaintiff, according to the direction he received, repaired to
the house of the accused; and his indignation being inflamed at finding the
story had already circulated among
