 and extravagance. On the very day of my
departure Mr. B- endeavoured, with all the arguments he could suggest, to
dissuade me from my purpose; and I made use of the same answer which had
satisfied his friend. Finding me determined upon removing, he burst out into a
flood of tears, exclaiming, »By G-d, if lord B-- can bear it, I can't.« I was
thunderstruck at this expression; for tho' I had been told that Mr. B- was in
love with me, I gave no credit to the report, because he had never declared his
passion, and this was the first hint of it that ever escaped him in my hearing.
I was therefore so much amazed at the circumstance of this abrupt explanation,
that I could make no answer; but having taken my leave, went away, ruminating on
the unforeseen event.
    Lord B- (as I was informed) spoke not a word that whole night, and took my
leaving him so much to heart, that two years elapsed before he got the better of
his grief. This intelligence I afterwards received from his own mouth, and asked
his forgiveness for my unkind retreat, tho' I shall never be able to obtain my
own. As for Mr. B-, he was overwhelmed with sorrow, and made such efforts to
suppress his concern, as had well nigh cost him his life. Dr. S- was called to
him in the middle of the night, and found him almost suffocated. He soon guessed
the cause, when he understood that I had left the house: so that I myself was
the only person concerned who was utterly ignorant of his affection; for I
solemnly declare he never gave me the least reason to suspect it while I lived
with his relation, because he had too much honour to entertain a thought of
supplanting his friend, and too good an opinion of me to believe he should have
succeeded in the attempt. Tho' my love for lord B- was not so tender and
interesting as the passion I had felt for S--, my fidelity was inviolable, and I
never harboured the most distant thought of any other person, till after I had
resolved to leave him, when (I own) I afforded some small encouragement to the
addresses of a new admirer, by telling him, that I should, in a little time, be
my own mistress, tho' I was not now at my own disposal.
    I enjoyed my new house as a little paradise: it was accommodated with all
sorts
