, that he would suckle
upon his thumb all the children I should ever beget; and I have other convincing
reasons to support his opinion.«
    These last words had scarce proceeded from his mouth, when his sweet-blooded
spouse, leaving her duty and obedience on the left hand, and forgetting that she
was subject to the eye of any unconcerned spectator, lifted up the machine she
had just replenished, and made such application with it to the forehead of her
husband, as pressed the two sides of it together, by which means, the contents
were squirted out in a full stream, that played upon the visage of the
astonished Misanthrope; and, not satisfied with the vengeance she had taken, she
quitted her weapon, and assaulted him with tooth and nail, exclaiming all the
time, »Ah! you pitiful cuckoldy scrub, have you the impudence to own to my face,
that you married a woman of my character, when you knew your own infirmities?
You had a base design upon my fortune, you slave, although you was sensible that
you could never deserve it. But, I'll be revenged of you, if there be a man to
be had for love or money.«
    Thus, far from attempting to clear herself from the imputation implied in
her husband's words, she construed his declaration into an acknowledgment of the
ill usage she had suffered; and while she trumpeted her own wrongs, with great
vociferation, exercised her claws with such rancour and agility, that the poor
draper was fain to roar aloud for assistance; and as Cadwallader had no
inclination to interpose, he would, in all probability, have met with the fate
of Orpheus, had not his cries reached the ears of the coachman, who descended
from his box, and partly by threats, and partly by intreaties, put an end to her
operations.
 

                                Chapter LXXXVII

Crabtree sounds the Duchess, and undeceives Pickle, who, by an extraordinary
Accident, becomes acquainted with another Lady of Quality
 
Crabtree having rehearsed this adventure, in such a peculiarity of manner, as
added infinite ridicule to every circumstance, and repeated every scandalous
report which had circulated at the Bath, after Peregrine's departure, was
informed by the youth, that he harboured a design upon the person of such a
duchess, and in all appearance had no reason to complain of his reception; but,
that he would not venture to declare himself, until he should be more
ascertained of her sentiments: and therefore, he begg'd leave to depend upon the
intelligence of his friend Cadwallader, who, he knew, was
