 to one of the three, just
as he stooped to examine the patient's water, that his tye-periwig dropped into
the pot, while he himself fell motionless on the floor.
    This significant explanation disconcerted the whole fraternity; every man
turned his face, as if it were by instinct, towards the door; and the retreat of
the community being obstructed by the efforts of individuals, confusion and
tumultuous uproar ensued: for the colonel, far from limiting his prowess to the
first exploit, handled his weapon with astonishing vigour and dexterity, without
respect of persons; so that few or none of them had escaped without marks of his
displeasure, when his spirits failed, and he sunk down again, quite exhausted,
on his bed. Favoured by this respite, the discomfited faculty collected their
hats and wigs, which had fallen off in the fray; and perceiving the assailant
too much enfeebled to renew the attack, set up their throats together, and
loudly threatened to prosecute him severely for such an outrageous assault.
    By this time, the landlord had interposed; and inquiring into the cause of
the disturbance, was informed of what had happened by the complainants, who, at
the same time, giving him to understand, that they had been severally summoned
to attend the colonel that morning, he assured them, that they had been imposed
upon by some wag; for his lodger had never dream'd of consulting any one of
their profession.
    Thunderstruck at this declaration, the general clamour instantaneously
ceased; and each, in particular, at once comprehending the nature of the joke,
they sneaked silently off with the loss they had sustained, in unutterable shame
and mortification; while Peregrine and his friend, who took care to be passing
that way by accident, made a full stop at sight of such an extraordinary efflux,
and enjoyed the countenance and condition of every one as he appeared: nay, even
made up to some of those who seemed most affected with their situation, and
mischievously tormented them with questions touching this unusual congregation;
then, in consequence of the information they received from the landlord and the
colonel's valet, subjected the sufferers to the ridicule of all the company in
town. As it would have been impossible for the authors of this farce to keep
themselves concealed from the indefatigable inquiries of the physicians, they
made no secret of their having directed the whole; though they took care to own
it in such an ambiguous manner, as afforded no handle of prosecution.
 

                                 Chapter LXXVI

They distress the Housekeepers of Bath, by another mischievous Contrivance.
Peregrine humbles a noted Hector, and
