 I
appeared in publick with an air of tranquility, was well received by the best
company in town, and my misfortune taking air, condoled accordingly; while I had
the satisfaction of seeing Melinda so universally discountenanced, that she was
fain to return to London, in order to avoid the scoffs and censure of the ladies
at Bath. - But though the hope of hearing from the darling of my soul supported
my spirits a little while, I began to be very uneasy, when at the end of several
weeks, I found that expectation disappointed. - In short, melancholy and
despondence took possession of my soul; and repining at that providence, which
by acting the stepmother towards me, kept me from the fruition of my wishes, I
determined, in a fit of despair, to risk all I had at the gaming table, with a
view of acquiring a fortune sufficient to render me independant for life; or of
plunging myself into such a state of misery, as would effectually crush every
ambitious hope that now tortured my imagination.
    Actuated by this fatal resolution, I engaged in play, and after some turns
of fortune, found myself, at the end of three days, worth a thousand pounds; but
it was not my intention to stop there, for which cause I kept Strap ignorant of
my success, and continued my career, until I was reduced to five guineas, which
I would have hazarded also, had I not been ashamed to fall from a bett of two
hundred pounds to such a petty sum.
    Having thus executed my scheme, I went home, amazed to find myself so much
at ease, and informed my friend Strap of my mischance, with such calmness, that
he imagining I joked, affected to receive the tidings with great equanimity. -
But both he and I found ourselves mistaken very soon. - I had misinterpreted my
own stupidity into deliberate resignation, and he had reason to believe me in
earnest, when he saw me next morning agitated with the most violent despair,
which he endeavoured to alleviate with all the consolation in his power.
    In one of my lucid intervals, however, I charged him to take a place in the
stage coach for London; and in the mean time, pay'd my debts in Bath, which
amounted to thirty shillings only. - Without taking leave of my friends I
embarked, Strap having the good fortune to find a return horse, and arrived in
town, without having met with any thing remarkable on the road; save that, while
we crossed Bagshot Heath, I was seized with a sort of inclination to retrieve my
