 am I altogether
ignorant of surgery, which I have studied with great pleasure and application. -
»O ho! you did (says Crab). Gentlemen, here is a compleat artist! - Studied
surgery! what? in books I suppose. - I shall have you disputing with me, one of
these days, on points of my profession. - You can already account for muscular
motion (I warrant) and explain the mystery of the brain and nerves - ha! - You
are too learned for me, d-n me. - But let's hear no more of this stuff, - can
you bleed and give a clyster, spread a plaister and prepare a potion? answer me
to that.« - Upon my answering him in the affirmative, he shook his head, telling
me, he believed he should have little good of me, for all my promises; - but
however, he would take me in for the sake of charity. - I was accordingly that
very night admitted to his house, and had an apartment assigned to me in the
garret, which I was fain to put up with, notwithstanding the mortification my
pride suffered in this change of circumstances. I was soon convinced of the real
motives which induced Crab to receive me in this manner: for besides the
gratification of his revenge, in exposing the selfishness of his antagonist, in
opposition to his own generosity, which was all affectation, he had occasion for
a young man who understood something of the profession, to fill up the place of
his eldest apprentice, lately dead, not without violent suspicion of foul play
from his master's brutality. - The knowledge of this, together with his daily
behaviour to his wife, and the young apprentice, did not at all contribute to my
enjoying my new situation with ease; however, as I did not perceive how I could
bestow myself to better advantage, I resolved to study Crab's temper with all
the application, and manage it with all the address I was master of. - And it
was not long before I found out a strange peculiarity of humour, which governed
his behaviour towards all his dependants. - I observed when he was pleased, he
was such a niggard of his satisfaction, that if his wife or servants betrayed
the least symptom of participation, he was offended to an insupportable degree
of choler and fury, the effects of which they seldom failed to feel. - And when
his indignation was roused, submission and soothing always exasperated it beyond
the bounds of reason and humanity. - I therefore pursued a contrary plan;
