 I had hitherto been looked upon by them with the most
supercilious contempt, which I endeavoured to return by the most perfect
neglect, my character now attracted their notice so much, that I was given to
understand, I might be honoured with their acquaintance, if I pleased. - The
reader will easily perceive, that this condescension either flowed from the hope
of making my poetical capacity subservient to their malice, or at least of
screening themselves from the lash of my resentment, which they effectually
provoked. - I enjoyed this triumph with great rapture; and not only rejected
their offer with disdain, but, in all my performances, whether satire or
panegyric, industriously avoided mentioning their names, even while I celebrated
those of their intimates, which mortified their pride exceedingly, and incensed
them to such a degree, that they rendered themselves universally ridiculous in
satisfying their resentment against me. - The first stroke of their revenge
consisted in their hiring a poor collegian to write verses against me, the
subject of which was my own poverty, and the catastrophe of my unhappy parents;
but besides the badness of the composition (of which they themselves were
ashamed) they did not find their account in endeavouring to reproach me with
those misfortunes, which they and their relations had intailed upon me; and
which consequently, reflected much more dishonour on themselves, than on me, who
was the innocent victim of their barbarity and avarice. - Finding this plan
miscarry, they found means to irritate a young gentleman against me, by telling
him I had lampooned his mistress; and so effectually succeeded in the quality of
incendiaries, that this enraged lover determined to seize me next night, as I
returned to my lodgings from a friend's house that I frequented; with this view,
he waited in the street, attended by two of his companions, to whom he had
imparted his design of carrying me down to the river, in which he proposed to
have me heartily ducked, notwithstanding the severity of the weather, it being
then about the middle of December. - But this stratagem did not succeed; for,
being apprised of their ambush, I got home another way, and by the help of my
landlord's apprentice, emptied a close stool out of the garret window, which did
great execution upon them; and next day, occasioned so much mirth at their
expence, that they found themselves under a necessity of leaving the town, until
the adventure should be entirely forgotten. - My cousins (though twice baffled
in their expectation) did not however, desist from persecuting me, who had now
enraged them beyond
