 like a
padger with sulphur, if ever he should presume to offend his neighbours with
such smells, for the future: The steward, conscious of his own innocence,
replied with some warmth, »I know of no smells but those of your own making.« -
This repartee introduced a smart dialogue, in which the Welchman undertook to
prove, that though the stench he complained of, did not flow from the steward's
own body, he was nevertheless the author of it, by serving out damaged
provisions to the ship's company; and in particular, putrified cheese, from the
use of which only, he affirmed, such unsavoury steams could arise. - Then he
launched out into praises of good cheese, of which he gave the analysis;
explained the different kinds of that commodity, with the methods practised to
make and preserve it; and concluded with observing, that in yielding good
cheese, the county of Glamorgan might vie with Cheshire itself, and was much
superior to it in the produce of goats and putter. - I gathered from this
conversation, that if I went into the birth in my present pickle, I should be no
welcome guest, and therefore desired Mr. Thomson to go before, and represent my
calamity; at which the first mate expressing some concern, went upon deck
immediately, taking his way through the cable tire, and by the main hatchway, to
avoid encountering with me; desiring me to clean myself as soon as possible, for
he intended to regale himself with a dish of salmagundy and a pipe. -
Accordingly, I set about this disagreeable business, and soon found I had more
causes of complaint than I at first imagined: For I perceived some guests had
honoured me with their company, whose visit I did not at all think seasonable;
neither did they seem inclined to leave me in a hurry, being in possession of my
chief quarters, where they fed without reserve at the expence of my blood. - But
considering it would be much easier to extirpate this ferocious colony in the
infancy of their settlement, than after they should be multiplied and
naturalized to the soil, I took the advice of my friend, who, to prevent such
misfortunes, went always closs shaved, and made the boy of our mess cut off my
hair, which had been growing since I left the service of Lavement. The second
mate lent me an old bob wig to supply the loss of that covering. This affair
being ended, and every thing adjusted in the best manner my circumstances would
permit, the descendant of Caractacus returned, and ordering the boy
