 me
regret anything. There would be no regrets; but if there were, it would be
altogether my own affair: on the other hand, I wished him to understand clearly
that this arrangement, this - this - experiment, was his own doing; he was
responsible for it and no one else. Why? Why, he stammered, this is the very
thing that I... I begged him not to be dense, and he looked more puzzled than
ever. He was in a fair way to make life intolerable to himself.... Do you think
so? he asked, disturbed; but in a moment added confidently, I was going on,
though. Was I not? It was impossible to be angry with him: I could not help a
smile, and told him that in the old days people who went on like this were on
the way of becoming hermits in a wilderness. Hermits be hanged! he commented
with engaging impulsiveness. Of course he didn't mind a wilderness.... I was
glad of it, I said. That was where he would be going to. He would find it lively
enough, I ventured to promise. Yes, yes, he said keenly. He had shown a desire,
I continued inflexibly, to go out and shut the door after him.... Did I? he
interrupted in a strange access of gloom that seemed to envelop him from head to
foot like the shadow of a passing cloud. He was wonderfully expressive after
all. Wonderfully! Did I? he repeated bitterly. You can't say I made much noise
about it. And I can keep it up, too - only, confound it! you show me a door....
Very well. Pass on, I struck in. I could make him a solemn promise that it would
be shut behind him with a vengeance. His fate, whatever it was, would be
ignored, because the country, for all its rotten state, was not judged ripe for
interference. Once he got in, it would be for the outside world as though he had
never existed. He would have nothing but the soles of his two feet to stand
upon, and he would have first to find his ground at that. Never existed - that's
it, by Jove! he murmured to himself. His eyes, fastened upon my lips, sparkled.
If he had thoroughly understood the conditions, I concluded, he had better jump
into the first gharry he could see and drive on to Stein's house for his
