 make yourself free.«
    »I shall argue no more. I am tired to death of it.«
    »Then say nothing, but listen for the last time to my view of the position
we have come to. When I consented to leave you for a time, to go away and try to
work in solitude, I was foolish and even insincere, both to you and to myself. I
knew that I was undertaking the impossible. It was just putting off the evil
day, that was all - putting off the time when I should have to say plainly: I
can't live by literature, so I must look out for some other employment. I
shouldn't have been so weak but that I knew how you would regard such a decision
as that. I was afraid to tell the truth - afraid. Now, when Carter of a sudden
put this opportunity before me, I saw all the absurdity of the arrangements we
had made. It didn't take me a moment to make up my mind. Anything was to be
chosen rather than a parting from you on false pretences, a ridiculous
affectation of hope where there was no hope.«
    He paused, and saw that his words had no effect upon her.
    »And a grievous share of the fault lies with you, Amy. You remember very
well when I first saw how dark the future was. I was driven even to say that we
ought to change our mode of living; I asked you if you would be willing to leave
this place and go into cheaper rooms. And you know what your answer was. Not a
sign in you that you would stand by me if the worst came. I knew then what I had
to look forward to, but I durst not believe it. I kept saying to myself: She
loves me, and as soon as she really understands - That was all self-deception.
If I had been a wise man, I should have spoken to you in a way you couldn't
mistake. I should have told you that we were living recklessly, and that I had
determined to alter it. I have no delicacy? No regard for your feelings? Oh, if
I had had less! I doubt whether you can even understand some of the
considerations that weighed with me, and made me cowardly - though I once
thought there was no refinement of sensibility that you couldn't enter into.
Yes. I was absurd enough to say to myself: It will look as if I had consciously
deceived her; she may suffer from the thought that
