 he thought good to utter it - and that then he
should be the witness how courageously I would encounter the worst. It still
impresses me as almost a matter of regret, that I did not die, then, when I had
tolerably made up my mind to it; for Hollingsworth would have gone with me to
the hither verge of life, and have sent his friendly and hopeful accents far
over on the other side, while I should be treading the unknown path. Now, were I
to send for him, he would hardly come to my bedside; nor should I depart the
easier, for his presence.
    »You are not going to die, this time,« said he, gravely smiling. »You know
nothing about sickness, and think your case a great deal more desperate than it
is.«
    »Death should take me while I am in the mood,« replied I, with a little of
my customary levity.
    »Have you nothing to do in life,« asked Hollingsworth, »that you fancy
yourself so ready to leave it?«
    »Nothing,« answered I - »nothing, that I know of, unless to make pretty
verses, and play a part, with Zenobia and the rest of the amateurs, in our
pastoral. It seems but an unsubstantial sort of business, as viewed through a
mist of fever. But, dear Hollingsworth, your own vocation is evidently to be a
priest, and to spend your days and nights in helping your fellow-creatures to
draw peaceful dying-breaths.«
    »And by which of my qualities,« inquired he, »can you suppose me fitted for
this awful ministry?«
    »By your tenderness,« I said. »It seems to me the reflection of God's own
love.«
    »And you call me tender!« repeated Hollingsworth, thoughtfully. »I should
rather say, that the most marked trait in my character is an inflexible severity
of purpose. Mortal man has no right to be so inflexible, as it is my nature and
necessity to be!«
    »I do not believe it,« I replied.
    But, in due time, I remembered what he said.
    Probably, as Hollingsworth suggested, my disorder was never so serious as,
in my ignorance of such matters, I was inclined to consider it. After so much
tragical preparation, it was positively rather mortifying to find myself on the
mending hand.
    All the other members of the Community showed me kindness, according to the
full measure of their capacity. Zenobia brought me my gruel, every day
