! Heavens! What would the Porkenhams say! What would
be the triumph of Mr. Sidney Porkenham when he found that his addresses had been
slighted for such a rival! How should he, Nupkins, meet the eye of old Porkenham
at the next Quarter Sessions! And what a handle would it be for the opposition
magisterial party, if the story got abroad!
    »But after all,« said Mr. Nupkins, brightening for a moment, after a long
pause; »after all, this is a mere statement. Captain Fitz-Marshall is a man of
very engaging manners, and, I dare say, has many enemies. What proof have you of
the truth of these representations?«
    »Confront me with him,« said Mr. Pickwick, »that is all I ask, and all I
require. Confront him with me and my friends here; you will want no further
proof.«
    »Why,« said Mr. Nupkins, »that might be very easily done, for he will be
here to-night, and then there would be no occasion to make the matter public,
just - just - for the young man's own sake, you know. I - I - should like to
consult Mrs. Nupkins on the propriety of the step, in the first instance,
though. At all events, Mr. Pickwick, we must despatch this legal business before
we can do anything else. Pray step back into the next room.«
    Into the next room they went.
    »Grummer,« said the magistrate, in an awful voice.
    »Your wash-up,« replied Grummer, with the smile of a favourite.
    »Come, come, sir,« said the magistrate, sternly, »don't let me see any of
this levity here. It is very unbecoming, and I can assure you that you have very
little to smile at. Was the account you gave me just now strictly true? Now be
careful, sir?«
    »Your wash-up,« stammered Grummer, »I -«
    »Oh, you are confused, are you?« said the magistrate.
    »Mr. Jinks, you observe this confusion?«
    »Certainly, sir,« replied Jinks.
    »Now,« said the magistrate, »repeat your statement, Grummer, and again I
warn you to be careful. Mr. Jinks, take his words down.«
    The unfortunate Grummer proceeded to re-state his complaint, but, what
between Mr. Jinks's taking down his words, and the magistrate's
