 cutting down the surrounding woods, now grown to valuable timber, would more than an∣swer to the expence incurred; while new plantations would at once open the pros∣pect on that side the Abbey, and deprive me of an inanimate object of affection, of which Lord Arlington still entertained a jealousy as excessive as preposterous.
This proposal met the strongest oppo∣sition from me on every account; it was dreadful to think of annihilating every

trace of my youth; every object which could remind me I had ever been belov∣ed or connected. To disturb the sacred ashes of my early protectors, and leave them exposed to the winds of Heaven, and the hands of the laborer—But it was yet more dreadful to me to risque the little peace I had been able to collect from the wreck of all my hopes—to wake wishes, which were perhaps torpid, only because vain—to tempt Lord Essex to break the promise I had wrung from him—in short, to take the most remote chance of again beholding him—for to prevent the daily regret I might experi∣ence at being a spectator of this disagree∣able metamorphosis in my favourite spot, Lord Arlington was determined to take me for that time to London. In vain I remonstrated; the stronger my disgust appeared, the less he imagined he had to dread; nor among his whole round of suppositions, once thought it possible I could fear myself. Painful experience now reminded me that the least hint on this subject would be ruin, and every

other reason rather strengthening his de∣sign, I was compelled to yield to it.—How readily, with every passing mile, recurred the dear habitual impressions! My quickened pulses were again animated by my heart, and I beheld even the palace without disgust, because Essex reigned there. Lady Pembroke met me with an embrace neither time or absence had chilled. She surveyed my amended looks with infinite satisfaction, and flattered herself, because I was no longer a spec∣tre, I was happy. Ah, much erring friend, the embers of that fatal fire tears had almost quenched, again were gradu∣ally relighting!—I felt almost disappoint∣ed at hearing Essex was still on the seas; that crowned with victory at Cadiz, his valour had only been surpassed by his conduct. The sensation this news excited, rendered me sensible of the precipice on which I stood, and thanking Heaven most devoutly for his absence, I acknow∣ledged in it my safety.

The few friends fortune had left me welcomed my return with ardor; and in their society my subdued spirits might have found some relief, had I been per∣mitted an unlimited share of it; but Lord Arlington saw the world in a dif∣ferent point of view when mingling
