 with him.
    The living in this manner with him, and his with me, was certainly the most
undesigned thing in the World; he often protested to me that when he became
first acquainted with me, and even to the very Night when we first broke in upon
our Rules, he never had the least Design of lying with me; that he always had a
sincere Affection for me, but not the least real Inclination to do what he had
done; I assured him I never suspected him, that if I had, I should not so easily
have yielded to the Freedoms which brought it on, but [that it] was all a
Surprize, and was owing to our having yielded too far to our mutual Inclinations
that Night; and indeed I have often observ'd since, and leave it as a Caution to
the Readers of this Story, that we ought to be cautious of gratifying our
Inclinations in loose and lew'd Freedoms, lest we find our Resolutions of Virtue
fail us in the Juncture when their Assistance should be most necessary.
    It is true that from the first Hour I began to converse with him, I resolv'd
to let him lye with me, if he offered it; but it was because I wanted his Help,
and knew of no other way of securing him: But when we were that Night together,
and, as I have said, had gone such a length, I found my Weakness, the
Inclination was not to be resisted, but I was obliged to yield up all even
before he ask'd it.
    However, he was so just to me that he never upbraided me with that; nor did
he ever express the least dislike of my Conduct on any other Occasion, but
always protested he was as much delighted with my Company as he was the first
Hour we came together.
    It is true that he had no Wife, that is to say, she was no Wife to him, but
the Reflections of Conscience oftentimes snatch a Man, especially a Man of
Sense, from the Arms of a Mistress, as it did him at last, tho' on another
Occasion.
    On the other hand, tho' I was not without secret Reproaches of my own
Conscience for the Life I led, and that even in the greatest height of the
Satisfaction I ever took, yet I had the terrible prospect of Poverty and
Starving, which lay on me as a frightful Spectre, so that there was no looking
behind me: But as Poverty brought me into it, so fear of Poverty kept me in it,
and I frequently resolv'
