 my confusion, and bid me sit down and attend to what he
was going to tell me, which was of the greatest consequence; and he hoped I
would be wise enough to take his advice, and act as he should think best for my
future welfare. He then asked me if I should not be much pleased to be a queen?
I answered, with the greatest earnestness, that, so far from it, I would not
live in a court again to be the greatest queen in the world; that I had a lover
who was both desirous and able to raise my station even beyond my wishes. I
found this discourse was very displeasing; my father frowned, and called me a
romantic fool, and said if I would hearken to him he could make me a queen; for
the cardinal had told him that the king, from the time he saw me at court the
other night, liked me, and intended to get a divorce from his wife, and to put
me in her place; and ordered him to find some method to make me a maid of honour
to her present majesty, that in the meantime he might have an opportunity of
seeing me. It is impossible to express the astonishment these words threw me
into; and, notwithstanding that the moment before, when it appeared at so great
a distance, I was very sincere in my declaration how much it was against my will
to be raised so high, yet now the prospect came nearer, I confess my heart
fluttered, and my eyes were dazzled with a view of being seated on a throne. My
imagination presented before me all the pomp, power, and greatness that attend a
crown; and I was so perplexed I knew not what to answer, but remained as silent
as if I had lost the use of my speech. My father, who guessed what it was that
made me in this condition, proceeded to bring all the arguments he thought most
likely to bend me to his will; at last I recovered from this dream of grandeur,
and begged him, by all the most endearing names I could think of, not to urge me
dishonourably to forsake the man who I was convinced would raise me to an empire
if in his power, and who had enough in his power to give me all I desired. But
he was deaf to all I could say, and insisted that by next week I should prepare
myself to go to court: he bid me consider of it, and not prefer a ridiculous
notion of honour to the real interest of my whole family; but, above all things
