, fearing that any indifferent words might jar on her: already the
calm light and shadow, the ancient steadfast forms, had aloofness enough from
those inward troubles which he felt sure were agitating her. And he judged
aright: she would have been impatient of polite conversation. The incidents of
the last minute or two had receded behind former thoughts which she had imagined
herself uttering to Deronda, and which now urged themselves to her lips. In a
subdued voice, she said -
    »Suppose I had gambled again, and lost the necklace again, what should you
have thought of me?«
    »Worse than I do now.«
    »Then you are mistaken about me. You wanted me not to do that - not to make
my gain out of another's loss in that way - and I have done a great deal worse.«
    »I can imagine temptations,« said Deronda. »Perhaps I am able to understand
what you mean. At least I understand self-reproach.« In spite of preparation he
was almost alarmed at Gwendolen's precipitancy of confidence towards him, in
contrast with her habitual resolute concealment.
    »What should you do if you were like me - feeling that you were wrong and
miserable, and dreading everything to come?« It seemed that she was hurrying to
make the utmost use of this opportunity to speak as she would.
    »That is not to be amended by doing one thing only - but many,« said
Deronda, decisively.
    »What?« said Gwendolen, hastily, moving her brow from the glass and looking
at him.
    He looked full at her in return, with what she thought was severity. He felt
that it was not a moment in which he must let himself be tender, and flinch from
implying a hard opinion.
    »I mean there are many thoughts and habits that may help us to bear
inevitable sorrow. Multitudes have to bear it.«
    She turned her brow to the window again, and said impatiently, »You must
tell me then what to think and what to do; else why did you not let me go on
doing as I liked and not minding? If I had gone on gambling I might have won
again, and I might have got not to care for anything else. You would not let me
do that. Why shouldn't I do as I like, and not mind? Other people do.« Poor
Gwendolen's speech expressed nothing very clearly except her irritation.
    »I don't believe you would ever get not to mind,« said Deronda, with
deep-
