 despised myself for my condescension,
which was owing to the advice of my companion, supported and inflamed by the
spirit of resentment. Nevertheless, he begged that I would return to his house,
or stay all night where I was; but I was deaf to his intreaties, and, after a
great deal of ironical civility on my side, I took my leave, and went away; yet,
before I set out, I looked back, and saw him on horseback, with such an air of
simplicity and truth, as called up a profound sigh, notwithstanding all that had
passed in our conversation.
    Upon my arrival in London, I took lodgings in Leicester-Fields, and answered
a letter which I had some months before received from my lord; telling him, that
I would go home to him, without stipulating for any terms, to try what effect my
confidence would have upon his generosity. He readily embraced the offer, and
took an house in St. James's street, where I proposed to comply with his humour
in every thing that was consistent with my own peace and tranquillity.
    Mean while, my lover passed his time very disagreeably in the country, with
his friend, of whom (it seems) he had conceived some jealousy, which was
increased by a letter I wrote to that gentleman, till he was made acquainted
with the contents, which he read over forty times; and then his passion breaking
out with more violence than ever, he not only expressed his feeling, in an
epistle which I immediately received, but when he came to town, suffered such
agonies of despair as I had never seen before, except in lord B--. It was then
in my power to have taken ample revenge upon him, as well as upon my insolent
rival, who had insisted upon my leaving his house, in a very abrupt manner, tho'
he absolutely refused to gratify her malice; for he was now disposed to do any
thing for my satisfaction: but I knew his worth, and had too much regard for his
reputation to advise him to act inconsistent with his honour.
    About this time, many tender meetings and sorrowful partings happened
between us, till the marriage-knot was tied, when he sent me a bank-note for a
thousand pounds, by way of specimen (as he called it) of his friendship, and of
what he would do for me, should I ever want his assistance. This mark of his
generosity I received in a most tender billet, which I shall never part with,
together with his picture set in
