 of violence in his absence, then departed to provide a post chaise from the inn. I confess that had not my oath withheld my arm when I was left alone, I was hardly enough master of myself to have resisted the temptation of putting a period to my existence; but Benseley, who dreaded the wildness of my despair, hastened the execution of his orders, and soon returned to me in the carriage.
We travelled post, for my friend would not desert me in that moment of affliction, and procured lodgings the most private in an obscure part of the city. Instead of upbraiding me, he performed unceasingly the kindest offices of friendship; and perceiving me sufficiently penetrated with a sense of the criminality and weakness of my conduct, and entirely overpowered by the calamities which had resulted from it, not to myself

alone, but to those I passionately loved, and indeed to all who were connected with me, he not only forbore to probe my wounds too severely, but exerted himself to plan what steps I ought next to pursue; and I, who was unable to think for myself, received a feeble ray of satisfaction on finding I still possessed a friend who would not abandon me, and that my crimes had not made this earth completely a desert to me.
Immediately on my arrival, I was seized with a violent fever attended with a delirium, in the intervals of which I heartily wished the disease might prove the termination of all my distresses. My friend, who never quitted my bed side, on this occasion wrote, by my desire, a letter to my father, acquainting him with my situation, and confessing to him every circumstance of my misconduct. This I had no intention now of concealing; and a full confession of the truth, in my

situation, was the only virtue I could testify. Benseley informed him, that unable to shew my face to the world, or again to meet the eyes of the woman I had so unpardonably, so irreparably injured, from the violence of a passion which knew no bounds and would give way to no restraints, and sensible that I merited only scorn and abhorrence from her, I was firmly determined, should I recover, which was an event he well knew I heartily wished never might take place, to spend the remainder of my days in a foreign country, and to bury myself in solitude and obscurity, where my name should be unheard of and my crimes unknown.
To this my father returned an answer dictated by all that resentment I had so justly incurred. He desired Benseley to inform me, that my offences were of
