 in such ill Terms with one another that I claim'd a Promise
of him which he enter'd willingly into with me, when I consented to come from
England with him, viz. that if I did not like to live there, I should come away
to England again when I pleas'd, giving him a Year's warning to settle his
Affairs.
    I say, I now claim'd this Promise of him, and I must confess I did it not in
the most obliging Terms that could be neither; but I insisted that he treated me
ill, that I was remote from my Friends, and could do my self no Justice, and
that he was Jealous without Cause, my Conversation having been unblameable, and
he having no Pretence for it, and that to remove to England, would take away all
Occasion from him.
    I insisted so peremptorily upon it, that he could not avoid coming to a
Point, either to keep his Word with me, or to break it; and this,
notwithstanding he used all the Skill he was Master of, and employ'd his Mother
and other Agents to prevail with me to alter my Resolutions; indeed the bottom
of the thing lay at my Heart, and that made all his Endeavours fruitless, for my
Heart was alienated from him. I loathed the Thoughts of Bedding with him, and
used a Thousand Pretences of Illness and Humour to prevent his touching me,
fearing nothing more than to be with Child again, which to be sure would have
prevented, or at least delay'd my going over to England.
    However, at last I put him so out of Humour that he took up a rash and fatal
Resolution, that in short I should not go to England; that tho' he had promis'd
me, yet it was an unreasonable thing, that it would be ruinous to his Affairs,
would unhinge his whole Family, and be next to an Undoing him in the World; that
therefore I ought not to desire it of him, and that no Wife in the World that
valued her Family and her Husband's Prosperity, would insist upon such a thing.
    This plung'd me again, for when I considered the thing calmly, and took my
Husband as he really was, a diligent careful Man, in the main, and that he knew
nothing of the dreadful Circumstances that he was in, I could not but confess to
my self that my Proposal was very unreasonable, and what no Wife that had the
good of her Family at Heart wou'd have desir'
