 eunuch, a favourite of the emperor Justinian II., one of the
wickedest wretches whom perhaps the world ever saw. I not only wrote a panegyric
on this man, but I commended him as a pattern to all others in my sermons; by
which means I so greatly ingratiated myself with him, that he introduced me to
the emperor's presence, where I prevailed so far by the same methods, that I was
shortly taken from my cell, and preferred to a place at court. I was no sooner
established in the favour of Justinian than I prompted him to all kind of
cruelty. As I was of a sour morose temper, and hated nothing more than the
symptoms of happiness appearing in any countenance, I represented all kind of
diversion and amusement as the most horrid sins. I inveighed against
chearfulness as levity, and encouraged nothing but gravity, or, to confess the
truth to you, hypocrisy. The unhappy emperor followed my advice, and incensed
the people by such repeated barbarities, that he was at last deposed by them and
banished.
    »I now retired again to my cell (for historians mistake in saying I was put
to death), where I remained safe from the danger of the irritated mob, whom I
cursed in my own heart as much as they could curse me.«
    »Justinian, after three years of his banishment, returned to Constantinople
in disguise, and paid me a visit. I at first affected not to know him, and
without the least compunction of gratitude for his former favours, intended not
to receive him, till a thought immediately suggesting itself to me how I might
convert him to my advantage, I pretended to recollect him; and, blaming the
shortness of my memory and badness of my eyes, I sprung forward and embraced him
with great affection.«
    »My design was to betray him to Apsimar, who, I doubted not, would
generously reward such a service. I therefore very earnestly requested him to
spend the whole evening with me; to which he consented. I formed an excuse for
leaving him a few minutes, and ran away to the palace to acquaint Apsimar with
the guest whom I had then in my cell. He presently ordered a guard to go with me
and seize him; but, whether the length of my stay gave him any suspicion, or
whether he changed his purpose after my departure, I know not; for at my return
we found he had given us the slip; nor could we with the most diligent search
discover him.«
    »Apsimar, being disappointed of his prey, now raged at
