 avoided speaking on
professional matters, such as would suggest themselves naturally to two sailors
during a passage. For whole days we did not exchange a word; I felt extremely
unwilling to give orders to my officers in his presence. Often, when alone with
him on deck or in the cabin, we didn't know what to do with our eyes.
    I placed him with De Jongh, as you know, glad enough to dispose of him in
any way, yet persuaded that his position was now growing intolerable. He had
lost some of that elasticity which had enabled him to rebound back into his
uncompromising position after every overthrow. One day, coming ashore, I saw him
standing on the quay; the water of the roadstead and the sea in the offing made
one smooth ascending plane, and the outermost ships at anchor seemed to ride
motionless in the sky. He was waiting for his boat, which was being loaded at
our feet with packages of small stores for some vessel ready to leave. After
exchanging greetings, we remained silent - side by side. Jove! he said suddenly,
this is killing work.
    He smiled at me; I must say he generally could manage a smile. I made no
reply. I knew very well he was not alluding to his duties; he had an easy time
of it with De Jongh. Nevertheless, as soon as he had spoken I became completely
convinced that the work was killing. I did not even look at him. Would you like,
said I, to leave this part of the world altogether; try California or the West
Coast? I'll see what I can do... He interrupted me a little scornfully. What
difference would it make?... I felt at once convinced that he was right. It
would make no difference; it was not relief he wanted; I seemed to perceive
dimly that what he wanted, what he was, as it were, waiting for, was something
not easy to define - something in the nature of an opportunity. I had given him
many opportunities, but they had been merely opportunities to earn his bread.
Yet what more could any man do? The position struck me as hopeless, and poor
Brierly's saying recurred to me, Let him creep twenty feet underground and stay
there. Better that, I thought, than this waiting above ground for the
impossible. Yet one could not be sure even of that. There and then, before his
boat was three oars' lengths away from the quay, I had made up my mind to go and
consult Stein in
