 to judge of her honest regret
in this woeful change; but when they did meet, her composure was odious. She had
been particularly unwell, however, suffering from headache to a degree, which
made her aunt declare, that had the ball taken place, she did not think Jane
could have attended it; and it was charity to impute some of her unbecoming
indifference to the languor of ill-health.
 

                                 Chapter XIII.

Emma continued to entertain no doubt of her being in love. Her ideas only varied
as to the how much. At first, she thought it was a good deal; and afterwards,
but little. She had great pleasure in hearing Frank Churchill talked of; and,
for his sake, greater pleasure than ever in seeing Mr. and Mrs. Weston; she was
very often thinking of him, and quite impatient for a letter, that she might
know how he was, how were his spirits, how was his aunt, and what was the chance
of his coming to Randalls again this spring. But, on the other hand, she could
not admit herself to be unhappy, nor, after the first morning, to be less
disposed for employment than usual; she was still busy and cheerful; and,
pleasing as he was, she could yet imagine him to have faults; and farther,
though thinking of him so much, and, as she sat drawing or working, forming a
thousand amusing schemes for the progress and close of their attachment,
fancying interesting dialogues, and inventing elegant letters; the conclusion of
every imaginary declaration on his side was that she refused him. Their
affection was always to subside into friendship. Every thing tender and charming
was to mark their parting; but still they were to part. When she became sensible
of this, it struck her that she could not be very much in love; for in spite of
her previous and fixed determination never to quit her father, never to marry, a
strong attachment certainly must produce more of a struggle than she could
foresee in her own feelings.
    »I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice,« said she. - »In
not one of all my clever replies, my delicate negatives, is there any allusion
to making a sacrifice. I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my
happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more
than I do. I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be more.«
    Upon the whole, she was equally contented with her view of his feelings.
    »
