 some few Readers may lead them; for I would not willingly
give Offence to any, especially to Men who are warm in the Cause of Virtue or
Religion.
    I hope, therefore, no Man will, by the grossest Misunderstanding, or
Perversion, of my Meaning, misrepresent me, as endeavouring to cast any Ridicule
on the greatest Perfections of Human Nature; and which do, indeed, alone purify
and enoble the Heart of Man, and raise him above the Brute Creation. This,
Reader, I will venture to say, (and by how much the better Man you are yourself,
by so much the more will you be inclined to believe me) that I would rather have
buried the Sentiments of these two Persons in eternal Oblivion, than have done
any Injury to either of these glorious Causes.
    On the contrary, it is with a View to their Service that I have taken upon
me to record the Lives and Actions of two of their false and pretended
Champions. A treacherous Friend is the most dangerous Enemy; and I will say
boldly, that both Religion and Virtue have received more real Discredit from
Hypocrites, than the wittiest Profligates or Infidels could ever cast upon them:
Nay farther, as these two, in their Purity, are rightly called the Bands of
civil Society, and are indeed the greatest of Blessings; so when poisoned and
corrupted with Fraud, Pretence and Affectation, they have become the worst of
civil Curses, and have enabled Men to perpetrate the most cruel Mischiefs to
their own Species.
    Indeed, I doubt not but this Ridicule will in general be allowed; my chief
Apprehension is, as many true and just Sentiments often came from the Mouths of
these Persons, lest the whole should be taken together, and I should be
conceived to ridicule all alike. Now the Reader will be pleased to consider,
that as neither of these Men were Fools, they could not be supposed to have
holden none but wrong Principles, and to have uttered nothing but Absurdities;
what Injustice, therefore, must I have done to their Characters, had I selected
only what was bad, and how horridly wretched and maimed must their Arguments
have appeared!
    Upon the whole, it is not Religion or Virtue, but the Want of them which is
here exposed. Had not Thwackum too much neglected Virtue, and Square Religion,
in the Composition of their several Systems; and had not both utterly discarded
all natural Goodness of Heart, they had never been represented as the Objects of
Derision in this History; in which we will now proceed.
    This Matter, then, which put an end to
