 or below, (just as the Physician then happens to
be disposed) a Medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the Bowels; which
relaxing the Belly, drives down all before it: And this they call a Purge, or a
Clyster. For Nature (as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior
anterior Orifice only for the Intromission of Solids and Liquids, and the
inferior Posterior for Ejection; these Artists ingeniously considering that in
all Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace her in it,
the Body must be treated in a Manner directly contrary, by interchanging the Use
of each Orifice; forcing Solids and Liquids in at the Anus, and making
Evacuations at the Mouth.
    But, besides real Diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary,
for which the Physicians have invented imaginary Cures; these have their several
Names, and so have the Drugs that are proper for them; and with these our Female
Yahoos are always infested.
    One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognosticks, wherein
they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseases, when they rise to any
Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death, which is always in their Power,
when Recovery is not: And therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of Amendment,
after they have pronounced their Sentence, rather than be accused as false
Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the World by a seasonable
Dose.
    They are likewise of special Use to Husbands and Wives, who are grown weary
of their Mates; to eldest Sons, to great Ministers of State, and often to
Princes.
    I had formerly upon Occasion discoursed with my Master upon the Nature of
Government in general, and particularly of our own excellent Constitution,
deservedly the Wonder and Envy of the whole World. But having here accidentally
mentioned a Minister of State; he commanded me some Time after to inform him,
what Species of Yahoo I particularly meant by that Appellation.
    I told him, that a First or Chief Minister of State, whom I intended to
describe, was a Creature wholly exempt from Joy and Grief, Love and Hatred, Pity
and Anger; at least makes use of no other Passions but a violent Desire of
Wealth, Power, and Titles: That he applies his Words to all Uses, except to the
Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with an Intent that you
should take it for a Lye; nor a Lye, but with a Design that you should take it
for a Truth; That those he speaks worst of behind their Backs, are in the surest
way
