 others or
the course of observation; for as yet he believed in genius, of which he well
knew that he had none, if it was the fine-frenzied thing he thought it was.
    Not very long before this he had come of age, and Theobald had handed him
over his money which amounted now to £5000; it was invested to bring in £5 per
cent and gave him therefore an income of £250 a year. He did not, however,
realise the fact (he could realise nothing so foreign to his experience) that he
was independent of his father for a long time afterwards; nor did Theobald make
any difference in his manner towards him. So strong was the hold which habit and
association held over both father and son, that the one considered he had as
good a right as ever to dictate, and the other that he had as little right as
ever to gainsay.
    During his last year at Cambridge he overworked himself through this very
blind deference to his father's wishes, for there was no reason why he should
take more than a poll degree except that his father laid such stress upon his
taking honours. He became so ill, indeed, that it was doubtful how far he would
be able to go in for his degree at all; but he managed to do so, and when the
lists came out was found to be placed higher than either he or anyone else
expected, being among the first three or four senior optimes, and a few weeks
later, in the lower half of the second class of the Classical Tripos. Ill as he
was when he got home, Theobald made him go over all the examination papers with
him, and in fact reproduce as nearly as possible the replies that he had sent
in. So little kick had he in him, and so deep was the groove into which he had
got, that while at home he spent several hours a day in continuing his classical
and mathematical studies as though he had not yet taken his degree.
 

                                   Chapter 47

Ernest returned to Cambridge for the May term of 1858, on the plea of reading
for ordination, with which [he] was now face to face - and much nearer than he
liked. Up to this time though not religiously inclined he had never doubted the
truth of anything that had been told him about Christianity. He had never seen
anyone who doubted, nor read anything that raised a suspicion in his mind as to
the historical character of the miracles recorded in the Old and New Testaments.
    It must be remembered that the year 1858 was the last of a term during which
the peace of
