 which
made their futility profound and touching. To fling away your daily bread so as
to get your hands free for a grapple with a ghost may be an act of prosaic
heroism. Men had done it before (though we who have lived know full well that it
is not the haunted soul but the hungry body that makes an outcast), and men who
had eaten and meant to eat every day had applauded the creditable folly. He was
indeed unfortunate, for all his recklessness could not carry him out from under
the shadow. There was always a doubt of his courage. The truth seems to be that
it is impossible to lay the ghost of a fact. You can face it or shirk it - and I
have come across a man or two who could wink at their familiar shades. Obviously
Jim was not of the winking sort; but what I could never make up my mind about
was whether his line of conduct amounted to shirking his ghost or to facing him
out.
    I strained my mental eyesight only to discover that, as with the complexion
of all our actions, the shade of difference was so delicate that it was
impossible to say. It might have been flight and it might have been a mode of
combat. To the common mind he became known as a rolling stone, because this was
the funniest part; he did after a time become perfectly known, and even
notorious, within the circle of his wanderings (which had a diameter of, say,
three thousand miles), in the same way as an eccentric character is known to a
whole countryside. For instance, in Bankok, where he found employment with
Yucker Brothers, charterers and teak merchants, it was almost pathetic to see
him go about in sunshine hugging his secret, which was known to the very
up-country logs on the river. Schomberg, the keeper of the hotel where he
boarded, a hirsute Alsatian of manly bearing and an irrepressible retailer of
all the scandalous gossip of the place, would, with both elbows on the table,
impart an adorned version of the story to any guest who cared to imbibe
knowledge along with the more costly liquors. And, mind you, the nicest fellow
you could meet, would be his generous conclusion; quite superior. It says a lot
for the casual crowd that frequented Schomberg's establishment that Jim managed
to hang out in Bankok for a whole six months. I remarked that people, perfect
strangers, took to him as one takes to a nice child. His manner was reserved,
but it was as though his personal appearance, his hair, his eyes
