 on her. And somewhere, at
the very bottom of his heart, there was a fear of her. Why? What could she do?
Nothing on earth could stop him now. He felt strong, reckless, pitiless, and
superior to everything. He wanted to preserve before his wife the lofty purity
of his character. He thought: She does not know. Almayer held his tongue about
Aïssa. But if she finds out, I am lost. If it hadn't been for the boy I would
... free of both of them .... The idea darted through his head. Not he! Married
.... Swore solemnly. No ... sacred tie .... Looking on his wife, he felt for the
first time in his life something approaching remorse. Remorse, arising from his
conception of the awful nature of an oath before the altar .... She mustn't find
out .... Oh, for that boat! He must run in and get his revolver. Couldn't think
of trusting himself unarmed with those Bajow fellows. Get it now while she is
away. Oh, for that boat! ... He dared not go to the river and hail. He thought:
She might hear me .... I'll go and get ... cartridges ... then will be all ready
... nothing else. No.
    And while he stood meditating profoundly before he could make up his mind to
run to the house, Joanna pleaded, holding to his arm - pleaded despairingly,
broken-hearted, hopeless whenever she glanced up at his face, which to her
seemed to wear the aspect of unforgiving rectitude, of virtuous severity, of
merciless justice. And she pleaded humbly - abashed before him, before the
unmoved appearance of the man she had wronged in defiance of human and divine
laws. He heard not a word of what she said till she raised her voice in a final
appeal -
    » ... Don't you see I loved you always? They told me horrible things about
you .... My own mother! They told me - you have been - you have been unfaithful
to me, and I ...«
    »It's a damned lie!« shouted Willems, waking up for a moment into righteous
indignation.
    »I know! I know - Be generous. - Think of my misery since you went away -
Oh! I could have torn my tongue out .... I will never believe anybody - Look at
