 when, in his
disinterestedness, he tried to reason with me and show me the way. He did not
resent my conduct, he simply said that some day I should receive the
first-fruits of the Spirit - that those who came to scoff sometimes remained to
pray. There was a strange magic in his words. They sank into my mind. But the
loss of my mother hit me most; and by degrees I was brought to see daylight.
Since then my one desire has been to hand on the true view to others, and that
is what I was trying to do to-day; though it is only lately that I have preached
hereabout. The first months of my ministry have been spent in the North of
England among strangers, where I preferred to make my earliest clumsy attempts,
so as to acquire courage before undergoing that severest of all tests of one's
sincerity, addressing those who have known one, and have been one's companions
in the days of darkness. If you could only know, Tess, the pleasure of having a
good slap at yourself, I am sure -«
    »Don't go on with it!« she cried passionately, as she turned away from him
to a stile by the wayside, on which she bent herself. »I can't believe in such
sudden things! I feel indignant with you for talking to me like this, when you
know - when you know what harm you've done me! You, and those like you, take
your fill of pleasure on earth by making the life of such as me bitter and black
with sorrow; and then it is a fine thing, when you have had enough of that, to
think of securing your pleasure in heaven by becoming converted! Out upon such -
I don't believe in you - I hate it!«
    »Tess,« he insisted; »don't speak so! It came to me like a jolly new idea!
And you don't believe me? What don't you believe?«
    »Your conversion. Your scheme of religion.«
    »Why?«
    She dropped her voice. »Because a better man than you does not believe in
such.«
    »What a woman's reason! Who is this better man?«
    »I cannot tell you.«
    »Well,« he declared, a resentment beneath his words seeming ready to spring
out at a moment's notice, »God forbid that I should say I am a good man - and
you know I don't say
