 restrain himself from
disturbing the earth.
    It was by no methodic inquiry, no deliberate reasoning, that Miriam had set
aside her old convictions and ordered her intellectual life on the new scheme.
Of those who are destined to pass beyond the bounds of dogma, very few indeed do
so by the way of studious investigation. How many of those who abide by
inherited faith owe their stead-fastness to a convinced understanding?
Convictions, in the proper sense of the word, Miriam had never possessed; she
accepted what she was taught, without reflecting upon it, and pride subsequently
made her stubborn in consistency. The same pride, aided by the ennui of mental
faculties just becoming self-conscious, and the desires of a heart for the first
time humanly touched, constrained her to turn abruptly from the ideal she had
pursued, and with unforeseen energy begin to qualify herself for the assertion
of new claims. No barriers of logic stood in her way; it was a simple matter of
facing round about. True, she still had to endure the sense of having chosen the
wide way instead of that strait one which is authoritatively prescribed. It was
a long time before she made any endeavour to justify herself; but the wide way
ran through a country that delighted her, and her progress was so notable that
self-commendation and the respect of others made her careless of the occasional
stings of conscience.
    She was able now to review the process of change, and to compare the two
ideals. Without the support of a single argument of logical value, she stamped
all the beliefs of her childhood as superstition, and marvelled that they had so
long held their power over her. Her childhood, indeed, seemed to her to have
lasted until she came to Naples; with hot shame she reflected on her speech and
behaviour at that time. What did the Spences think of her? How did they speak of
her to their friends? What impression did she make upon Mallard? These memories
were torture; they explained the mixture of humility and assumption which on
certain days made her company disagreeable to Eleanor, and the dark moods which
now and then held her in sullen solitude.
    But the word superstition was no guarantee against the haunting of
superstition itself. Miriam was far from being one of the emancipated, however
arrogantly she would have met a doubt of her freedom. Just as little as ever had
she genuine convictions, capable of supporting her in hours of weakness and
unsatisfied longing. Several times of late she had all but brought herself to
speak plainly with Eleanor, and ask on what foundation was built that calm life
