 heroine's soul poured out in her journal is full of vague power,
originality, and general rebellion, while her life moves strictly in the sphere
of fashion; and if she wanders into a swamp, the pathos lies partly, so to
speak, in her having on her satin shoes. Here is a restraint which nature and
society have provided on the pursuit of striking adventure; so that a soul
burning with a sense of what the universe is not, and ready to take all
existence as fuel, is nevertheless held captive by the ordinary wire-work of
social forms and does nothing particular.
    This commonplace result was what Gwendolen found herself threatened with
even in the novelty of the first winter at Offendene. What she was clear upon
was, that she did not wish to lead the same sort of life as ordinary young
ladies did; but what she was not clear upon was, how she should set about
leading any other, and what were the particular acts which she would assert her
freedom by doing. Offendene remained a good background, if anything would happen
there; but on the whole the neighbourhood was in fault.
    Beyond the effect of her beauty on a first presentation, there was not much
excitement to be got out of her earliest invitations, and she came home after
little sallies of satire and knowingness, such as had offended Mrs. Arrowpoint,
to fill the intervening days with the most girlish devices. The strongest
assertion she was able to make of her individual claims was to leave out Alice's
lessons (on the principle that Alice was more likely to excel in ignorance), and
to employ her with Miss Merry, and the maid who was understood to wait on all
the ladies, in helping to arrange various dramatic costumes which Gwendolen
pleased herself with having in readiness for some future occasions of acting in
charades or theatrical pieces, occasions which she meant to bring about by force
of will or contrivance. She had never acted - only made a figure in tableaux
vivans at school; but she felt assured that she could act well, and having been
once or twice to the Théâtre Français, and also heard her mamma speak of Rachel,
her waking dreams and cogitations as to how she would manage her destiny
sometimes turned on the question whether she would become an actress like
Rachel, since she was more beautiful than that thin Jewess. Meanwhile the wet
days before Christmas were passed pleasantly in the preparation of costumes,
Greek, Oriental, and Composite, in which Gwendolen attitudinised and speechified
before a domestic audience, including even the housekeeper, who was once pressed
into it that she might swell
