 all his faults, for which I had once kept a sharp
look-out. It had formerly been my endeavour to study all sides of his character:
to take the bad with the good; and from the just weighing of both, to form an
equitable judgment. Now I saw no bad. The sarcasm that had repelled, the
harshness that had startled me once, were only like keen condiments in a choice
dish: their presence was pungent, but their absence would be felt as
comparatively insipid. And as for the vague something - was it a sinister or a
sorrowful, a designing or a desponding expression? - that opened upon a careful
observer, now and then, in his eye, and closed again before one could fathom the
strange depth partially disclosed; that something which used to make me fear and
shrink, as if I had been wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills, and had
suddenly felt the ground quiver, and seen it gape: that something, I, at
intervals, beheld still; and with throbbing heart, but not with palsied nerves.
Instead of wishing to shun, I longed only to dare - to divine it; and I thought
Miss Ingram happy, because one day she might look into the abyss at her leisure,
explore its secrets and analyse their nature.
    Meantime, while I thought only of my master and his future bride - saw only
them, heard only their discourse, and considered only their movements of
importance - the rest of the party were occupied with their own separate
interests and pleasures. The ladies Lynn and Ingram continued to consort in
solemn conferences; where they nodded their two turbans at each other, and held
up their four hands in confronting gestures of surprise, or mystery, or horror,
according to the theme on which their gossip ran, like a pair of magnified
puppets. Mild Mrs. Dent talked with good-natured Mrs. Eshton; and the two
sometimes bestowed a courteous word or smile on me. Sir George Lynn, Colonel
Dent, and Mr. Eshton, discussed politics, or county affairs, or justice
business. Lord Ingram flirted with Amy Eshton; Louisa played and sang to and
with one of the Messrs Lynn; and Mary Ingram listened languidly to the gallant
speeches of the other. Sometimes all, as with one consent, suspended their
by-play to observe and listen to the principal actors: for, after all, Mr.
Rochester, and - because closely connected with him - Miss Ingram, were the life
and soul of the party. If he was absent from the room an hour, a perceptible
dulness seemed
