 her; the gangways were choked
up; distracted women, obviously bound for Gravesend, but turning a deaf ear to
all representations that this particular vessel was about to sail for Antwerp,
persisted in secreting baskets of refreshments behind bulk-heads and
water-casks, and under seats; and very great confusion prevailed.
    It was so amusing, that Tom, with Ruth upon his arm, stood looking down from
the wharf, as nearly regardless as it was in the nature of flesh and blood to
be, of an elderly lady behind him, who had brought a large umbrella with her,
and didn't know what to do with it. This tremendous instrument had a hooked
handle; and its vicinity was first made known to him by a painful pressure on
the windpipe, consequent upon its having caught him round the throat. Soon after
disengaging himself with perfect good humour, he had a sensation of the ferule
in his back; immediately afterwards, of the hook entangling his ankles; then of
the umbrella generally, wandering about his hat, and flapping at it like a great
bird; and, lastly, of a poke or thrust below the ribs, which gave him such
exceeding anguish, that he could not refrain from turning round to offer a mild
remonstrance.
    Upon his turning round, he found the owner of the umbrella struggling on
tip-toe, with a countenance expressive of violent animosity, to look down upon
the steam-boats; from which he inferred that she had attacked him, standing in
the front row, by design, and as her natural enemy.
    »What a very ill-natured person you must be!« said Tom.
    The lady cried out fiercely, »Where's the pelisse!« meaning the constabulary
- and went on to say, shaking the handle of the umbrella at Tom, that but for
them fellers never being in the way when they was wanted, she'd have given him
in charge, she would.
    »If they greased their whiskers less, and minded the duties which they're
paid so heavy for, a little more,« she observed, »no one needn't be drove mad by
scrouding so!«
    She had been grievously knocked about, no doubt, for her bonnet was bent
into the shape of a cocked hat. Being a fat little woman, too, she was in a
state of great exhaustion and intense heat. Instead of pursuing the altercation,
therefore, Tom civilly inquired what boat she wanted to go on board of?
    »I suppose,« returned the lady, »as nobody but yourself
