 cousin (who was not at all
disqualified from joining in the dispute by reason of being perfectly
unacquainted with its merits), one and all plunged into the quarrel directly.
    The two Miss Pecksniffs being a pretty good match for the three Miss
Chuzzlewits, and all five young ladies having, in the figurative language of the
day, a great amount of steam to dispose of, the altercation would no doubt have
been a long one but for the high valour and prowess of the strong-minded woman,
who, in right of her reputation for powers of sarcasm, did so belabour and
pummel Mrs. Spottletoe with taunting words that that poor lady, before the
engagement was two minutes old, had no refuge but in tears. These she shed so
plentifully, and so much to the agitation and grief of Mr. Spottletoe, that that
gentleman, after holding his clenched fist close to Mr. Pecksniff's eyes, as if
it were some natural curiosity from the near inspection whereof he was likely to
derive high gratification and improvement, and after offering (for no particular
reason that anybody could discover) to kick Mr. George Chuzzlewit for, and in
consideration of, the trifling sum of sixpence, took his wife under his arm, and
indignantly withdrew. This diversion, by distracting the attention of the
combatants, put an end to the strife, which, after breaking out afresh some
twice or thrice in certain inconsiderable spirts and dashes, died away in
silence.
    It was then that Mr. Pecksniff once more rose from his chair. It was then
that the two Miss Pecksniffs composed themselves to look as if there were no
such beings - not to say present, but in the whole compass of the world, as the
three Miss Chuzzlewits: while the three Miss Chuzzlewits became equally
unconscious of the existence of the two Miss Pecksniffs.
    »It is to be lamented,« said Mr. Pecksniff, with a forgiving recollection of
Mr. Spottletoe's fist, »that our friend should have withdrawn himself so very
hastily, though we have cause for mutual congratulation even in that, since we
are assured that he is not distrustful of us in regard to anything we may say or
do, while he is absent. Now, that is very soothing, is it not?«
    »Pecksniff,« said Anthony, who had been watching the whole party with
peculiar keenness from the first: »don't you be a hypocrite.«
    »A what, my good sir?« demanded Mr. Pecksniff.
    »A hypocrite.«
    »Charity, my dear,« said Mr. Pecksniff,
