 of thousands,« resumed the colonel. »We are a smart
people here, and can appreciate smartness.«
    »Is smartness American for forgery?« asked Martin.
    »Well!« said the colonel, »I expect it's American for a good many things
that you call by other names. But you can't help yourselves in Europe. We can.«
    »And do, sometimes,« thought Martin. »You help yourselves with very little
ceremony, too!«
    »At all events, whatever name we choose to employ,« said the colonel,
stooping down to roll the third empty bottle into a corner after the other two,
»I suppose the art of forgery was not invented here, sir?«
    »I suppose not,« replied Martin.
    »Nor any other kind of smartness, I reckon?«
    »Invented! No, I presume not.«
    »Well!« said the colonel; »then we got it all from the old country, and the
old country's to blame for it, and not the new 'un. There's an end of that. Now,
if Mr. Jefferson Brick and you will be so good as clear, I'll come out last, and
lock the door.«
    Rightly interpreting this as the signal for their departure, Martin walked
down stairs after the war correspondent, who preceded him with great majesty.
The colonel following, they left the Rowdy Journal Office and walked forth into
the streets: Martin feeling doubtful whether he ought to kick the colonel for
having presumed to speak to him, or whether it came within the bounds of
possibility that he and his establishment could be among the boasted usages of
that regenerated land.
    It was clear that Colonel Diver, in the security of his strong position, and
in his perfect understanding of the public sentiment, cared very little what
Martin or anybody else thought about him. His high-spiced wares were made to
sell, and they sold; and his thousands of readers could as rationally charge
their delight in filth upon him, as a glutton can shift upon his cook the
responsibility of his beastly excess. Nothing would have delighted the colonel
more than to be told that no such man as he, could walk in high success the
streets of any other country in the world: for that would only have been a
logical assurance to him of the correct adaptation of his labours to the
prevailing taste, and of his being strictly and peculiarly a national feature of
America.
    They walked a mile or more along a handsome street which the colonel said
