 poorly
acquainted with such matters, and would but imperfectly appreciate his beauties,
Mr. Garland invited Mr. Chuckster to partake of a slight repast in the way of
lunch. That gentleman readily consenting, certain cold viands, flanked with ale
and wine, were speedily prepared for his refreshment.
    At this repast, Mr. Chuckster exerted his utmost abilities to enchant his
entertainers, and impress them with a conviction of the mental superiority of
those who dwelt in town; with which view he led the discourse to the small
scandal of the day, in which he was justly considered by his friends to shine
prodigiously. Thus, he was in a condition to relate the exact circumstances of
the difference between the Marquis of Mizzler and Lord Bobby, which it appeared
originated in a disputed bottle of champagne, and not in a pigeon-pie, as
erroneously reported in the newspapers; neither had Lord Bobby said to the
Marquis of Mizzler, »Mizzler, one of us two tells a lie, and I'm not the man,«
as incorrectly stated by the same authorities; but »Mizzler, you know where I'm
to be found, and damme, sir, find me if you want me« - which, of course,
entirely changed the aspect of this interesting question, and placed it in a
very different light. He also acquainted them with the precise amount of the
income guaranteed by the Duke of Thigsberry to Violetta Stetta of the Italian
Opera, which it appeared was payable quarterly, and not half-yearly, as the
public had been given to understand, and which was exclusive, and not inclusive,
(as had been monstrously stated,) of jewellery, perfumery, hair-powder for five
footmen, and two daily changes of kid gloves for a page. Having entreated the
old lady and gentleman to set their minds at rest on these absorbing points, for
they might rely on his statement being the correct one, Mr. Chuckster
entertained them with theatrical chit-chat and the court circular; and so wound
up a brilliant and fascinating conversation which he had maintained alone, and
without any assistance whatever, for upwards of three-quarters of an hour.
    »And now that the nag has got his wind again,« said Mr. Chuckster, rising in
a graceful manner, »I'm afraid I must cut my stick.«
    Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Garland offered any opposition to his tearing himself
away, (feeling, no doubt, that such a man could ill be spared from his proper
sphere of action,) and therefore Mr. Chuckster and Kit were
