 loyalty, removed his eyes from the ceiling and subsided into prose
again.
    »Fred,« said Mr. Swiveller stopping short as if the idea had suddenly
occurred to him, and speaking in the same audible whisper as before, »is the old
min friendly?«
    »What does it matter?« returned his friend peevishly.
    »No, but is he?« said Dick.
    »Yes, of course. What do I care whether he is or not?«
    Emboldened as it seemed by this reply to enter into a more general
conversation, Mr. Swiveller plainly laid himself out to captivate our attention.
    He began by remarking that soda-water, though a good thing in the abstract,
was apt to lie cold upon the stomach unless qualified with ginger, or a small
infusion of brandy, which latter article be held to be preferable in all cases,
saving for the one consideration of expense. Nobody venturing to dispute these
positions, he proceeded to observe that the human hair was a great retainer of
tobacco-smoke, and that the young gentlemen of Westminster and Eton, after
eating vast quantities of apples to conceal any scent of cigars from their
anxious friends, were usually detected in consequence of their heads possessing
this remarkable property; whence he concluded that if the Royal Society would
turn their attention to the circumstance, and endeavour to find in the resources
of science a means of preventing such untoward revelations, they might indeed be
looked upon as benefactors to mankind. These opinions being equally
incontrovertible with those he had already pronounced, he went on to inform us
that Jamaica rum, though unquestionably an agreeable spirit of great richness
and flavour, had the drawback of remaining constantly present to the taste next
day; and nobody being venturous enough to argue this point either, he increased
in confidence and became yet more companionable and communicative.
    »It's a devil of a thing, gentlemen,« said Mr. Swiveller, »when relations
fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never moult a feather,
the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but be always expanded and
serene. Why should a grandson and grandfather peg away at each other with mutual
wiolence when all might be bliss and concord? Why not jine hands and forget it?«
    »Hold your tongue,« said his friend.
    »Sir,« replied Mr. Swiveller, »don't you interrupt the chair. Gentlemen, how
does the case stand, upon the present occasion? Here is a jolly old grandfather
- I say it with the utmost respect - and here is a wild young grandson
