 line of gentlemen with their hats
off, all looking behind them, and uttering vociferous cheers; the cause whereof
was sufficiently explained when Sir Matthew Pupker and the two other real
members of Parliament came to the front, amidst deafening shouts, and testified
to each other in dumb motions that they had never seen such a glorious sight as
that, in the whole course of their public career.
    At length, and at last, the assembly left off shouting, but Sir Matthew
Pupker being voted into the chair, they underwent a relapse which lasted five
minutes. This over, Sir Matthew Pupker went on to say what must be his feelings
on that great occasion, and what must be that occasion in the eyes of the world,
and what must be the intelligence of his fellow-countrymen before him, and what
must be the wealth and respectability of his honorable friends behind him, and
lastly, what must be the importance to the wealth, the happiness, the comfort,
the liberty, the very existence of a free and great people, of such an
Institution as the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking
and Punctual Delivery Company!
    Mr. Bonney then presented himself to move the first resolution; and having
run his right hand through his hair, and planted his left, in an easy manner, in
his ribs, he consigned his hat to the care of the gentleman with the double chin
(who acted as a species of bottle-holder to the orators generally), and said he
would read to them the first resolution - »That this meeting views with alarm
and apprehension, the existing state of the Muffin Trade in this Metropolis and
its neighbourhood; that it considers the Muffin Boys, as at present constituted,
wholly undeserving the confidence of the public; and that it deems the whole
Muffin system alike prejudicial to the health and morals of the people, and
subversive of the best interests of a great commercial and mercantile
community.« The honorable gentleman made a speech which drew tears from the eyes
of the ladies, and awakened the liveliest emotions in every individual present.
He had visited the houses of the poor in the various districts of London, and
had found them destitute of the slightest vestige of a muffin, which there
appeared too much reason to believe some of these indigent persons did not taste
from year's end to year's end. He had found that among muffin-sellers there
existed drunkenness, debauchery, and profligacy, which he attributed to the
debasing nature of their employment as at present exercised; he had found the
same vices among the poorer class of people who ought
